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1. A bottle of Jergens Wet Skin Moisturizer perfect for restoring and *sealing in* hydration levels all over your bod way before you collapse into your bed, since you apply this while your skin is *still wet* and skip the awkward, sticky waiting period.
2. Fleece-lined tights to keep your legs from turning into legit icicles while you wander around in freezing weather in your very cute dresses.
3. A plush, full-body massage mat equipped with 10 vibrating motors and four heating zones for your upper back, lower back, thighs, and calves — in other words, tired joints and back pain, meet your new BFF!
4. An ergonomic scalp massager with Goldilocks-approved bristles — not too soft that they're ineffective and won't get rid of buildup/dandruff/itchiness, and also not too rough that they'll pull on your hair and/or irritate your scalp — as a relaxing "ahh" shower moment your fingertips alone can't provide.
5. A super cozy convertible poncho/blanket to warm up and cushion every single inch of your body when you're sprawled out on the couch — yep, the perfect weekend plans.
6. Moisturizing gel socks for softening rough, weathered stompers while you lounge around and/or sleep — it's like applying lotion, but way less messy!
7. A few pumps of Dove DermaSeries Dry Skin Relief Body Lotion to soothe super dry and sensitive skin (especially those with psorasis or eczema) and give it lasting hydration you continue feeling for hours and hours later — no fragrance, soap, parabens, or synthetic dyes; just simple goodness.
8. A cloud-like soft but supportive Helix mattress, so your body feels loved and supported every inch of the way.
9. Or a Linenspa memory foam mattress topper (aka two to three inches of gel-infused magic) that relieves your poor, tense muscles for less $$$ — deeper sleep is within reach, y'all!
10. Insanely comfy Aerie joggers that'll basically meld into your body because you'll be wearing them literally all the time.
11. A Facetory sheet mask subscription box to recharge dull, tired skin with lots of hydration, vitamins, and antioxidants, so you live your dewiest life possible. ✨✨✨
12. A Satisfyer Pro 2 for working wonders on your clit by using a pulsating pressure vacuum to stimulate and bring you to an orgasm faster than you say, "There are 11 settings???" Why yes, yes there are.
13. A bottle of Necessaire The Sex Gel, which is a clean, water-based, and FDA-approved personal lubricant treatment designed to make, ya' know, sex more comfortable and easy-gliding for both parties (or for yourself!) — it contains organic aloe vera, distilled deionized water, and hyaluronic acid, so you know it'll feel nice and slick on your ~intimate areas~.
14. A bath spa pillow that'll provide padded support for your head, neck, and shoulders, so you don't have to lean against a cold, hard tub and essentially negate the effects of a relaxing bath.
15. A pair of self-heating Patchology Hand and Cuticle Masks to treat your hyperactive hands to a little R + R after subjecting them to typing, washing dishes, doing chores, running errands, and harsh weather — say goodbye to dryness and roughness!
16. A soft-bristled EcoTools bath brush that'll actually be long enough to reach your back for a relaxing lather that leaves you with baby-soft skin — on your next night out, just be sure to show some back 😉.
17. A bottle of The Seaweed Bath Co. Body Wash so you can envelop your body in a rich, lathering concoction of organic bladderwrack seaweed, antimicrobial neem oil, algae, and aloe vera — your body will feel as soft as a cloud and clean as a sidewalk after a storm.
18. A acupressure mat that'll relieve neck and back pain, headaches, and insomnia without having to schedule and wait for expensive acupuncture, chiropractor, and massage appointments — it's basically your own feel-good secret weapon.
19. A ThirdLove 24/7 Perfect Coverage Bra, the ultimate feels-like-nothing T-shirt bra made from soft micro jersey fabric, ultra-thin hybrid foam cups, and memory foam straps that won't slip — basically, you're getting the support of a wired bra in the comfort of a bralette.
20. A reusable red bean warming eye mask to soothe your worn-out peepers after a day of staring at screens — they're basically like an express spa treatment, and each mask stays warm for 10–20 minutes!
21. And an actually stylish pair of Privé Revaux blue light-blocking glasses to help alleviate some of the stress your eyes deal with *while* it's actually happening — you genius, you!
22. High-waisted, super breathable Gap Breathe bikini undies that'll be the most comfortable bottoms that your bottom ever experiences — seriously, this knit jersey material can't be beat, and the soft waistband/leg openings never, ever cut into your skin.
23. A pair of cushy memory foam slippers to shuffle around your home in, because your stompers deserve a little more love and warmth than a pair of socks — there, I said it (nothing against socks).
24. Organic West Elm double-ply Turkish cotton towels that'll make your body feel like royalty — because who else would be able to experience such luxuriously soft towels? Only a person of high stature (you).
25. A delightfully fuzzy faux-fur blanket for the best snuggles of your darn life — and don't fret about dealing with shedding or static, because there'll be none of that.
26. A Herbivore Jade Facial Roller to help your well-curated lineup of skincare products (especially facial oil!) sink in even deeper into your skin and treat your face with a nice, cooling massage — hello, reducing puffiness and promoting lymphatic drainage.
27. A 60" x 80" Rocabi weighted blanket with the apparent effect of "being hugged by a Bengal tiger" — take that as you will, but people swear by this to help minimize sleep troubles, including insomnia, anxiety, and frequent sleep movements.
28. A heavenly bamboo-shredded memory foam body pillow to help relax your muscles, support your weary joints, and reduce the chances of back pain, hip pain, and restless insomnia.
29. A lightweight, moisture-wicking, and temperature-regulating cotton comforter that'll make it even harder to get out of bed — and, most importantly, it won't leave you feeling too hot or too cold in the middle of the night, no matter how temperamental the weather is. *side eye*
30. A Bawdy Shake It Butt Mask to leave your booty moisturized and toned with a little help from aloe and soothing chamomile.
31. Or a tub of Sol De Janiero Brazilian Bum Bum Cream with delicious notes of salted caramel, pistachio, and vanilla can give your body (including, *but not limited* to your booty) quick-absorbing doses of hydration and antioxidants, as well as subtle shimmer that'll make you look extra dazzling in the sun.
32. A shawl-collar fleece robe that'll probably replace all of your going-out clothes, because you'll end up canceling all of your plans in favor of staying in and burrito-ing it up in this number.
33. Or a Modern Skyn Apothecary subscription box filled with high-quality bath and body products that are all cruelty-free, organic, and handcrafted — I mean, what could be better on a lazy weekend day?
34. A heated foot pad to warm up your tootsies while you're at your desk and keep the heat centralized — because we don't always need heat blasting our entire body.
Time to indulge your whole dang self. Take it from Oprah:
Want more body-soothing products? Check out these posts:
29 Products For Anyone Who Loves Sleeping More Than People
34 Things You'll Love If Your Favorite Activity Is Staying Home
25 Products That'll Help You Conquer Those Annoying Sunday Scaries
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