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This. :-) I have fms too, and I clap like her 2nd image. Tapping your fingers together is a lot less jarring on the wrists. (And to the person on stage, it's the movement that counts, not the noise--if shouting isn't appropriate, I let the crowd around me make up for the missing sound.)… Read More

For the people asking about the babies playing with their diaper contents: a lot of toddlers go through this phase right before potty-training. Their discovery is usually the sign that they're ready to learn. I had to learn about this phase the hard way. The books also don't mention… Read More

1. Let them take the picture. You might feel awkward, fat, and old, but perspectives change, memories fade, and you'll never be younger or prettier than you are right now, today. 2. Don't get married at 21, but definitely, definitely marry Eli. (Aka trust your instincts: you were… Read More

My daughter's car broke down, so she needed a replacement immediately to drive across the state. The car dealership let her take a brand new car on an extended test drive. Halfway through her trip, an unlicensed driver in a stolen car plowed into her and the state trooper who was… Read More

I always wanted four kids. Then we had twins. I knew I was done forever the day they hit toddler -hood and realized they could remove their diapers. *Twins will paint each other, y'all.* I dry heaved through their bath and swore never again.

I'm actually more impressed with myself for labeling this while in a moving car. Can I get extra points for attempting the mail codes? (In Missouri, but Iowa educated.)

It keeps saying I'm a Pisces. But I hate people. I just like water and extra chairs? (I'm a Scorpio. I know my sign is right bc I'm just a bit fascinated with death. We're like inverted Pisces--we'll keep people around, but they're mostly for business or sex. Borderline evil—the Slytherins… Read More

Is it possible to get anything other than Mike (or Marcel) ???

Is that Ronald McDonald's arm on the cup, or did I find Waldo?