"Emoji are little cartoons you text instead of words. Instead of saying, 'what up boo?' you can type 'what up' and then a cute little ghost- cause that means boo." - Tom Haverford
On the way to the allergist I consumed a whole bag of utz salt and vinegar chips. At the allergist they were doing under the skin tests so they stuck about 14 needles in my arm, put on Jurassic park, and left me there. Before I knew it, I was throwing up for the first time in 7 years.…
I have another one: I once put a mini fridge stocked will only diet pepsi in my bedroom. This of course prevented me from making the trek downstairs and to the garage to grab one.
Fell off my bed reaching for the remote because I didn't want to get up.
PS my bed was extremely high off the ground, to the point where I was using an ottoman to climb into it. I'm 5'8. So can you really blame me?
Discreetly removing my invisalign to eat some delicious tacos, then putting my invisalign back in without knowing there was a huge piece of black bean stuck in one of front teeth. So basically I trapped a piece of black bean in my teeth, and I'm disgusting.
I'm sure worse…
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