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1.An earwax removal kit, because cotton swabs are bad news — your future (fully functioning) elderly eardrums are gonna thank you for using this stuff instead.
2.An eye mask that'll prevent any light from coming in, even when you open your eyes, so that you can finally start falling asleep in the blink of an eye.
3.A gel wart remover that's sure to be the thing you need to actually rid your big toe of its clingy little friend.
4.A Critter Catcher so you can now bravely wrangle and release creepy crawlies without any fear (because you won't have to get within a foot of them).
5.An eyeliner stamp that's gonna give you wing-tips so impeccable, you're sure to get any makeup artist's ~stamp~ of approval, despite not even knowing what a wing-tip was yesterday.
6.A framing tool that'll measure, level, and mark while you hang frames, so your art will now look picture perfect.
7.A self-cleaning litter box sure to prove you've been scooping all wrong for far too long — the most efficient way to clean out the litter is by not cleaning it yourself at all.
8.An insulated reusable grocery bag so you (and your food) can stay chill when you inevitably impulse-grab ice cream first, but still need to look around for actual food.
10.A diaper wipe warmer that'll soothe your baby and keep them sleepy during nighttime diaper changes — letting you actually get some shut eye, even if the sound of their cries from the dark cold wipe days still haunt your dreams.
11.An easy grip opener so you're never left with sauceless pasta, dry pancakes, or chips without dip ever again.
12.An air mattress with a headboard, for being ahead of the game when it comes to your guest's comfort.
13.A powerful cordless Dyson that'll actually make your least favorite/most neglected chore suck way less (I mean, more).
14.A magnetic screen to keep bugs out while still letting everyone (including pets and kiddos) in.
15.A pair of anti-nausea bands designed to help keep you from getting sea sick on your next family cruise — you're gonna be scooping up that chocolate fountain with a serving spoon while everyone else is ralphing up their breakfast buffet.
16.A stick of NerdWax that'll truly keep your glasses on your face, no matter how much you move (I can totally ~see~ the appeal with this stuff).
17.A smooth stovetop cleaner so you can now wipe away the remains of any meal without scratching the surface of your stove.
18.An iron holster, so you don't burn anything while making yourself look hot.
19.A food chopper to make yourself a meal prep pro by cutting prep time in half (and cutting onions into dozens).
20.A pack of homeopathic jet-lag pills that may finally keep you from sleeping through a vacation, even when you still insist on saving money with a red-eye.
21.A John Frieda hot air brush reviewers swear by — this is sure to give you a blowout that looks like it was done professionally and save you the money you were spending on getting it done by a professional.
22.A wood polish and conditioner that'll have your coffee table looking so nice and new it'll be like you actually used those Christmas coasters you re-gifted months ago.
24.A storage bean bag chair for kids whose idea of cleaning is shoving things under the bed or in the closet — now they can shove things into a chair instead, keeping your home clean using your kids' preferred cleaning method.
25.A set of lifting straps sure to lift you up when you realize how much easier it is to move your furniture — get ready to take living room Tetris to a whole new level.
26.A pack of colorful bath bombs that'll make your next bath your best bath.
27.And a bath mat that's gonna keep your bathroom floor from collecting water after your shower so your foot baths only happen *in* the bath from now on.
28.A tube of quick dissolve sugar for anyone who can no longer wait for their coffee to actually be sweet in the mornings.
29.An Amazon Echo, because it can do almost everything in your home (and do it so much better than when you had to do it yourself).
30.A nail polish holder to make painting your nails so easy, you won't know how you were managing before.
31.An electric egg cooker to give you perfectly cooked eggs every time, keeping you from ~cracking~ under the pressure when it's your turn to host book club brunch again.
32.Or if you don't have room for a new appliance, these silicone egg cookers to make poaching (and even hard-boiling) eggs surprisingly simple, considering how attempting to cook them before made you cry harder than chopping onions ever has.
33.A pair of strappy vegan heels that'll work with every outfit you own, cutting down the decision process and making your mornings far more efficient.
34.A pack of four scrub gloves that'll exfoliate your skin while evenly distributing soap — getting you, your kids, or your pets completely clean from now on.
35.A cheeseburger pool float so your next pool day is relaxing to the max — jump in this and you won't even need to use up the energy it takes to float.
36.A Makeup Eraser that works with water so you can stop spending cash on wet wipes and fancy oils.
37.A passport wallet with enough room to hold every paper and card you could possibly need while you travel, making sure you won't misplace your passport...again.
38.A tub of Tide Pods that are so much easier to carry around and throw in the wash than standard detergent. Now you won't have to worry about making a mess when cleaning your clothes.
39.A travel Poo-Pourri, because smelling up public bathrooms always gets you down in the ~dumps~ — fortunately this is more than happy to help!
40.A drill brush kit that'll finally clean the nasty grout in your bathtub. Nothing is worse than seeing that filth in the place where you try to get yourself clean.
41.A water wand to make washing your dog way less of a mess.
42.And finally, a graphic tee you can throw on when you want to remember exactly how to take on your day.
When I manage to wash the dog without turning the bathroom floor into a kiddo pool: