1. "Some of Y'all...And It Shows":
Some of y’all have never been yelled at by a middle-aged white lady about something wildly outside the realm of your pay grade while working in the service industry and it shows
some of y’all never converted youtube music videos to mp3 files and it shows
some of y’all weren’t line leaders in elementary school and it really shows
2. Lady Gaga's Golden Globes Interview:
rereading sexts with a clear mind
Me after accidentally sending a text ABOUT someone TO that person and getting confronted
when I die and have to explain my tweets to God
3. Scared to Moan:
Dudes be too scared to moan during sex, whole time I’m in my girl ear like
Y’all scared to moan? I be in my girl eat like...
fellas u scared to moan during sex? i be in my girls ear like
4. Tidying Up With Marie Kondo:
Marie Kondo: get rid of things that doesnt spark joy Me:
Start of cleaning: I am a calm minimalist earth goddess 10 minutes later: Marie Kondo can suck my left titty I love my numerous towers of dusty junk that have given me depression
MARIE KONDO: hold this book and see if it sparks joy ME: wow, it does MARIE KONDO (removing fake book jacket): that book was mein kampf
5. "Hi, I'm A __, You May Know Me From My Greatest Hits":
Hello, I'm an author. You may know me from my greatest hits, including: "No, not like J. K. Rowling", "exposure doesn't pay the bills,", and "I don't know, *have* you heard of me?" https://t.co/6Y7zo107bX
Hi, i'm a mom. You might know me from some of my Greatest Hits like "I thought your game was cancelled", "please don't fart on your sister", "why are there dirty socks in the refrigerator" and "I've clearly failed as a mother, just wait until your father gets home"
Hi, I'm a doctor who happens to be female. You may know me from my greatest hits including, "Yes, I'm actually your doctor," "Yes you did see a doctor, it was me" and "Yes, you may speak to the doctor in charge - you are speaking to her now." https://t.co/OrIP26D25O
6. "No __ Has All Five":
no man has all five: 1. good dick 2. communication skills 3. 0 hoes 4. A height over 5’9 5. Ability to display emotion
no woman has all five 1. apple bottom jeans 2. boots with the fur 3. the whole club looking at her 4. them baggy sweat pants 5. and them reeboks with the straps
No gay has all five: - Never has dyed their hair blonde - Doesn’t own *THAT* striped Zara shirt - True vers - Hasn’t ever captioned a selfie “thank u, next” - Can parallel park
7. Ja Rule Fyre Festival Tweet:
How I feel paying student loans every month https://t.co/rw4Z03N1ic
me realizing one direction's so-called hiatus is permanent https://t.co/wIdULyBu4f
me when I get caught in a lie: https://t.co/SRty9wSNnd
8. Shen Yun:
9. Waves and AirPods:
im sorry y'all.... i had to make this
drip or drown, Potter
10. Sasuke:
You’re weak Sasuke.. you lack seasoning
sasuke uchiha brings me no joy - marie kondo probably
11. Disappointed Parents:
Your father and I aren't angry with you, just ... disappointed.
"Of COURSE your father's upset about the car, but the important thing is you're safe and nobody got hurt."
when your parents find your juul
12. Gummy Bear Challenge:
13. Four Generations Challenge:
this Chinese four generations meme is so wholesome omg
the challenge involves four generations of family members making an appearance so a son calls his dad who calls his dad who calls his dad
this is too cute a woman calls her mum, who responds and calls her mum, who also responds and calls her mum, who also responds and makes an appearance
14. Alexa, Intruder Alert:
they don’t stand a chance
#robotuprising
Told my #GoogleHomeMini "Intruder Alert"
15. Powerful Shaggy:
