1. A plate with built-in slots to hold your stemware, so you don't have to worry about mixing up your wine glass with someone else's at the next function.
2. A solar-powered tabletop lantern with a sensor that'll automatically turn it on at dusk. I'm...having a potluck.
3. A wooden phone dock to give yourself the classy desk upgrade you know you deserve.
4. A powder-coated steel bucket with a beechwood handle for on-the-go organization or jewelry-hanging.
5. An oil and vinegar cruet that'll save you space and give you a nice centerpiece.
6. A stainless steel grocery bag dispenser that, in classic Simplehuman fashion, will turn your burdensome task into something chic.
7. A hanging citronella coil so you don't have to evacuate your outdoor event when the mosquitoes come looking for blood.
8. A light and foldable tote you'll want to reuse again and again at the grocery store.
9. A two-tiered shelf organizer that doesn't cut any corners in the looks department.
10. A desktop storage unit to make your space at work feel a bit homier.
11. A massage ball that'll make you wonder, Wait, do I think a massage ball is....beautiful?
12. A sink-protecting mat for keeping your dishes and sink in tiptop shape.
13. A stain-resistant, canvas wine bag to make your subway rides over to a hang a lot less chaotic.
14. A card-holding hedgehog that'll give you the poke you need to get organizing.
15. A mini dustpan and brush set to be like, did Gwyneth Paltrow break into my apartment while I was out?
16. A compact cooler with a strap that — get this!! — will double as a sturdy seat when you throw that padded cover on.
17. A floating shelf that conceals every trace of hardware so your books will actually look like they're floating — not just "floating."
18. A self-watering hanging planter for both indoor and outdoor use. I'm telling you: You can't mess it up this time — not with this planter.
19. Or, a set of hand-blown glass plant waterers that'll make sure your plant children stay nice and hydrated, especially when you're out of town.
20. A Two-Minute Mornings journal filled with quick prompts to get your day off to the right start and set yourself up for success.
21. A stackable bookend for a design-y way to keep your book collection looking slick.
22. A ceramic self-draining soap dish to maximize the lifespan of your precious bar soap.
23. A "host key" — or combination wine key and bottle opener — so you're always prepared for hosting duties.
24. A stackable zigzag trivet that can be used as a soap dish, plant stand, or a coaster for your drippy coffee.
25. A beautiful bamboo cutting board with seven color-coded mats you'll be relieved to discover is very easy to clean.
26. A flip-up hook unit, so you never have to look at an unused hook.
27. A cotton and leather-accented tablet sleeve no one will ever mistake for an ordinary case.
28. A metallic-gold plated stainless steel pyramid that happens to have a different grating function on every side.
29. A freestanding toilet paper holder for a classy way to store your supply without making a big display of it.
30. And trio of whimsical cactus hooks that will be anything but dry.
Some reviews in this post have been edited for length and/or clarity.