If you haven't heard, there's a horror movie on Netflix called Eerie and according to headlines, it's raising electricity bills across the nation, scaring people into sleeping with the lights on.
So, I decided to risk a good night's sleep for the next several days by watching this movie so I can tell you fine folks how it is.
Here's how Netflix describes the movie:
We're introduced to Sta. Lucia Academy for Girls. In the school, there's a stall beside a stairwell where a student named Erika once hanged herself. It seems people know to avoid it.
We meet a couple of main characters. One is Sor Alice, the school's head. She doesn't seem particularly friendly.
The second is the school's guidance counselor, Miss Pat, who seems very kind and caring, almost like the Miss Honey to Sor Alice's Miss Trunchbull, for anyone who has seen Matilda (which should be everyone).
In the middle of the night, this student named Anna has to go pee. She's trying to get someone to go with her but nobody is waking up, so she goes by herself.
The first jump scare (seen below) comes within 10 minutes. It's not bad without sound. Yes, it involves Bathroom Break Anna from the beat above. I'll make it click to reveal in case you're really easily frightened.
It seems the story will follow Miss Pat, who is talking to a student named Joyce. Joyce feels bad about not going to the bathroom with Anna, and she's venting about it.
I just have to say that for, like, the next 40 minutes, this turns into a jump-scare fest with a bunch of horror movie clichés. Here, I'll show you some examples of the spooky moments. This is Miss Pat in her office. The chair across from her is empty...
A pencil mysteriously falls to the ground...
When Miss Pat goes to pick it up, she sees A PAIR OF FEET FROM SOMEONE SITTING ACROSS FROM HER.
It turns out to be the ghost of Erika, the girl who killed herself, and instead of running, Miss Pat strikes up a conversation, casually asking questions like she ran into a friend at Starbucks.
The next 45 minutes or so are a bunch of stuff that's kind of scary, but kind of predictable if you're familiar with horror movies. Like, Miss Pat investigates in the dark and finds someone with their back to her...
Of course Miss Pat approaches and you know there's a zero percent chance that the person's face won't be scary when they turn around.
YEP. There it is.
Then later, Miss Pat is washing her face, so we get a classic mirror moment because seemingly every horror movie has one.
I will say, I was expecting someone to appear behind her, but instead she ducks down to splash water in her face, and when she pops back up it's blood.
BLOOD.
Miss Pat does a lot of foolish things in this movie, like repeatedly seeking out a ghost girl in the dark and using matches as her main light source instead of taking advantage of electricity's existence. Her behavior often has me sitting there like this:
OK, here's one more example of the horror tropes jam-packed into this movie. A couple girls are drawing at Miss Pat's desk.
They start scribbling really aggressively and Miss Pat tells them to chill.
Then Miss Pat dramatically takes a look at their drawings.
They'd each been drawing half of a creepy face that lined up perfectly.
However, when Miss Pat lowers the art, she sees this little gremlin ghoul lurking between the girls, so that's new.
Anyway, a student named Clara winds up dead in the front lawn from strangulation. Detectives come and find that the school's groundskeeper did it, so they arrest him.
If you want to watch for yourself, stop here, because I'm about to tell y'all the rest of the plot. If you're ready to hear how the movie ends, scroll on down.
So, TONS of stuff happens, but the ghost of Erika tells Miss Pat that she was treated poorly (particularly by Sor Alice) because she had feelings for another girl. Sor Alice caught Erika touching the other girl and beat her hands with a paddle. Her parents weren't any better, as her mom butchered her hair as punishment.
Fed up with her circumstances, Erika killed herself.
When Erika's parents came to pick her belongings up from Sta. Lucia, she discovered (as a ghost) that she could possess someone. So she took control of her dad's body and strangled her mother, then killed him.
It turns out she also possessed the groundskeeper and used him to kill Clara so she'd have a ghost friend.
So, there's a police detective who had been on campus since Clara was killed, and Erika's like, "Hey Miss Pat, I'm going to possess the detective and kill you so you can be a ghost with me."
Miss Pat tries to run like she should've an hour and 10 minutes ago, but it's a little too late.
The detective gets hold of Miss Pat and starts strangling her.
The ghost of Clara tackles the ghost of Erika and they plunge down to the ground below.
The detective is unpossessed and he releases his grip. Miss Pat gasps for air.
We see Miss Pat back in her office, leaving a recording in which she says she doesn't know where Clara and Erika went, and that it's quiet at Sta. Lucia now.
THEN THERE'S A TWIST. Miss Pat gathers her belongings and walks outside. A bunch of sad, crying students walk right past her, then she sees Sor Alice across the way, looking at her, horrified.
Miss Pat wanders over to a casket and realizes that it's HER funeral. She died from strangulation during the detective's attack.
Miss Pat sees Joyce, who she was close to, so upset over her death that she's about to leap from a building. Miss Pat rushes to her and gives her a ghost hug, telling her she's right there. THE END!
FINAL THOUGHTS:
PREVIOUSLY WATCHED:
Secret Obsession on Netflix
Midsommar in theaters
Murder Mystery on Netflix
The Perfection on Netflix
The Wandering Earth on Netflix
The Silence on Netflix
Black Summer on Netflix
How It Ends on Netflix
Set It Up on Netflix
The Kissing Booth on Netflix
Veronica on Netflix
Dude on Netflix
Irreplaceable You on Netflix