2012 Elections
The Least Flattering Photo Of President Obama
Ever. Didn't think it was possible to snap a bad picture of our dapper president, but I've been proven very wrong. Next time, try to get his good side...not his creepy Amber Alert side. Add Pervy Obama to any image with our handy photo editor at the bottom of the page!
Herman Cain Has The Best Campaign Buttons
I can't stand him, but I want one of these immediately. Other ideas? "Here comes the story of the Herman Cain/The man the authorities came to blame/for the best pizza in the land/Gonna lose the race but one time he coulda been the president of the states..." Okay maybe that wouldn't fit on a button. Maybe on a tote.
President Obama On "The Tonight Show"
The President sat down with Jay Leno for a wide-ranging interview that ran the gamut from Osama bin Laden to Occupy Wall Street to Halloween to waffles. Leno isn't exactly Edward R. Murrow, but it's an informative chat nonetheless.
Colbert Challenges Herman Cain To A Slow Smiling Contest
Hot on the heels of Herman Cain's strangest campaign ad, Stephen Colbert offers some (very similar) homages of his own. Then he challenges Cain to a slow smile contest.
Herman Cain, Baby!
We noticed an eerie similarity between Herman Cain's new ad and one of our favorite viral pick up artists. Here's a side by side comparison. Pundit Pro-Tip: Herman Cain has the leering Filipino vote all sewn up.
Rick Perry's College Grades Visualized
You seem like someone well worth voting for Rick. I mean look at these credentials.
Rick Perry On Why He Won't Let The Obama Birth Certificate Issue Die
In a non-sensical interview with CNBC, Rick Perry answered questions about why he won't give a definitive answer anon whether or not he accepts that the President was born in the United States. His reasoning? Well listen for yourself.
Herman Cain Makes The Worst Campaign Ad Ever
Or maybe the best? Either way, it's amazing. Just wait for the 40 second mark.
11 Reasons I Will Still Be On The Ticket In 2012
There has been some discussion that Hillary "Clintonium" Clinton may replace me as Barry's numero dos on the 2012 ticket. Here are 11 reasons that they won't be able to say goodbye to Uncle Joe.
Herman Cain Has No Idea What He's Talking About
Hermain Cain supports a constitutional amendment which would ban abortion, even though he has no clue how a constitutional amendment gets passed. "I feel that strongly about it," Cain said on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "If we can get the necessary support and it comes to my desk, I'll sign it."
Ron Paul Doesn't Care Who Mows Mitt Romney's Lawn
Ron Paul expresses his disgust over the endless parade of nonsense at the GOP debates.
Michele Bachmann's Entire New Hampshire Staff Quits
Unconvinced that Michele Bachmann is serious about winning New Hampshire in the Republican Primary, the five remaining paid staff members at her N.H. campaign office quit en masse yesterday. According to one of the former staffers, they "have not been paid for a month."
GOP Debate: The Sitcom
October 18th’s GOP debate was so hilarious, it needed its own laugh track.
This Chart Shows The Insane Effects Of Herman Cain's 999 Plan
Yeah this will work, Herman. I'm pretty sure the 99% would lose their minds if this happened.
Michele Bachmann Wants Anderson Cooper's Attention
Michele Bachmann's strategy at last night's GOP debate in Las Vegas?
Romney And Perry Got REALLY Mad At Each Other Last Night
Haha, this is super awkward.
Mitt Romney Approved The Creation Of These Pins
When Mitt Romney was the Chief Executive of the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics, he approved the creation of pins with his likeness on them that read, "Hey Mitt, We Love You!" Why? No I was actually asking. I don't have an answer because it's maybe the weirdest thing you can do when you're running the Olympics.
Rick Perry And Mitt Romney Yelling At Debate
The head-to-head fight you've been waiting for finally happened tonight at the CNN GOP debate in Las Vegas. Skip ahead to 1:00 to see the gloves come off.
Mitt Romney Understands How #OccupyWallStreet Feels
Mitt Romney totally worries about the 99%. He understands them. I mean just look at this quote from Romney about #OccupyWallStreet over a totally random picture from his past. Again totally random. Not chosen to illustrate any point. Definitely not.
A Sign We Should Put On Every Door
This sign is in the same strip mall as a Mitt Romney campaign office. But shouldn't we all just put them on our doors to be safe? It could be like a wreath of garlic, only instead of keeping out vampires it will just keep out Mitt Romney.
Herman Cain Sings "Imagine There's No Pizza"
I think this is what John Lennon had in mind when he wrote "Imagine." Sample Cain lyrics: "Imagine there’s no pizza I couldn’t if I tried/Eating only tacos/Or Kentucky Fried/Imagine only burgers/It’s frightening and sad" This man might be President. Think about that.
Herman Cain: Liberals Deliberately Trying To Destroy America
Of all the crazy things Herman Cain said on Meet the Press this morning, this just might be the most insane.
SNL's Marriott TV GOP Debate
Marriott TV broadcasts "Yet Another GOP Debate," featuring reluctant new frontrunner Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich and Michele Bachmann locked in a janitor's closet, and Rick Santorum live from a gay bar in the Castro.
Sean Penn: Tea Party Wants To Lynch Obama
On Piers Morgan Tonight last night, Sean Penn explains what he believes is the Tea Party's true agenda.
Herman Cain Stole His "9-9-9" Plan From SimCity
According to the Republican presidential candidate's revolutionary plan, corporate income taxes, personal income taxes, and national sales tax rates would each be 9%. Seems smart and original, right? Wrong. Reporters have unearthed an astonishing similarity between Cain's 9-9-9 Plan and SimCity 4's default tax scheme.
Michele Bachmann Zings Herman Cain's 9-9-9 Plan
Michele Bachmann's shining moment at last night's GOP debate was when she became the first to point out that when you turn Herman Cain's signature plan upside-down, you get 6-6-6. (via gawker.com)
6 Possible Reasons Chris Christie Endorsed Mitt Romney
I think one of these probably explains it. Why else would you endorse Mitt? Unless Christie thought he was endorsing baseball gloves. In which case maybe we have to expand this to 7 possible reasons.
Herman Cain Responds To Criticism: I Left The Democrat Plantation A Long Time Ago
That's the best way to say that Herman. You totally nailed it.
Howard Stern Vs. Rick Perry
The King of All Media returned to the airwaves yesterday after another vacation week to discuss recent happenings in the political arena. It doesn't sound like the governor of Texas is getting his vote.
Herman Cain And Newt Gingrich Vs. Occupy Wall Street
Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich came together on Face the Nation this morning to dismiss the liberal Tea Party as nothing more than "jealous class warfare" and the "natural outcome of a bad education system teaching them really dumb ideas."
10 Mind-Blowingly Offensive Quotes From Ron Paul Newsletters
Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul used to publish a libertarian newsletter in the '80s and '90s. They were not, shall we say, sane. From those newsletters, here are some racist/homophobic/anti-semitic musings on everything from AIDS to Hate Whitey Day (aka Martin Luther King Jr. Day). Paul says he didn't write any of the following quotes, but they all appeared under his name. Yiiiiiikes.
14 Better Titles For Herman Cain's Book
Cain's new book has a pretty good title in, "This Is Herman Cain! My Journey To The White House" Did I say good? I meant terrible. Here are some good titles.
Herman Cain's Reasons For Avoiding The Civil Rights Movement Don't Make Sense
This interview got contentious quickly. Lawrence O'Donnell points out that Herman Cain's reasons for avoiding the Civil Rights Movement don't really hold up.
10 Things More Exciting Than Mitt Romney's Presidential Candidacy
Now that Chris Christie has decided against running, Mitt Romney seems like the Republican front-runner! Hurray! What's that? Not really excited? Well maybe you should consider some of these things instead.
How Chris Christie Could Still Win The Nomination
Sure, he announced today that he's definitely not running for president, but that still hasn't stopped desperate Republicans from pining for the candidacy of Chris Christie. Should he ultimately change his mind, here's a foolproof campaign strategy that turns one of his weightiest liabilities into a political asset.
Chris Christie Knows He's Overweight
Chris Christie confirms that he did see Letterman's fat jokes about him, and thought they were funny. Also, he's not running for president.
Herman Cain is 'Black Walnut'
Herman Cain is still referring to himself as "Black Walnut," which as far as I'm concerned is not even a flavor, let alone a "flavor of the week."
Bad Lip Reading With Michele Bachmann
Now featuring Marcus Bachmann's better half. I don't know about you, but I understood much more of this than most of her policies.
Herman Cain On Rick Perry's "N*ggerhead" Hunting Camp
Herman Cain responds to yesterday's story in the Washington Post reporting that Rick Perry's family had a hunting camp named after a racial epithet.
Obama Responds To GOP Candidates' Silence When Gay Soldier Got Booed
In his speech at Saturday's annual Human Rights Campaign fundraising dinner, the President gave the smack down to those cowardly candidates from the last Republican debate.
Herman Cain On Sarah Palin
Herman Cain says that he's the "black walnut" to Sarah Palin's "ice milk."
Bill Maher: Even Jesus Couldn't Get G.O.P. Nomination
Bill Maher says that the "promiscuous" Republicans wouldn't even elect J.C. as their Presidential candidate.
Presidential Physiques Of The Modern Age
This chart was originally run on The New York Times' website leading up to the 2008 election. It might be worth another look now that the GOP is trying to push Chris Christie into the race. History has been pretty good to the heavier candidate...
So This T-Shirt Of President Obama Is Available In Israel
I...don't even know. Can anyone from Jerusalem explain this?
Heckler Calls President Obama The Antichrist
Last night at a fundraiser in Los Angeles, Obama was just makin' some jokes when some guy in the crowd started yelling about the "one true Christian God" and then called Obama the antichrist. Thankfully, the President and the crowd's reaction is priceless.
The GOP Vagina Rules
Former Geico voiceover actor D.C. Douglas continues his war against the Tea Party with this (somewhat weird) video on how the GOP candidates view the vagina.
Herman Cain Responds To Morgan Freeman
After winning the Florida straw poll, Herman Cain essentially says "in your face" to Tea Party critic Morgan Freeman.
Herman Cain Wins Florida GOP Straw Poll
Herman Cain won an early test vote in Florida that lacked most of the leading candidates’ participation.
That Time Rick Perry Totally Forgot How To Speak
Nice burn on Mitt Romney, Rick. You really knocked that one out of the park. (via talkingpointsmemo.com)
Elizabeth Warren Is Awesome
Here's Elizabeth Warren demonstrating why she's already beating Scott Brown in her bid to take back Ted Kennedy's Senate seat in Massachusetts. She succinctly sums up how we got into this financial mess in the first place and lays waste to the Republican claims of "class warfare." It's not going to be long before you hear the words "Elizabeth Warren" and "2016" in the same sentence.
Was Rick Perry's New Ad Directed By Michael Bay?
It definitely looks like it was. Why would Rick Perry think this is a good idea? I guess a lot of people saw Transformers, but how many of them actually liked it? This is what American politics looks like. Shameful.
Michele Bachmann's Amazon Reviews
Apparently, presidential candidate Michele Bachmann is a dedicated Amazon.com user, who writes unbiased reviews on products she's purchased. Well, mostly unbiased.
Ron Paul Wins California Straw Poll
The 76-year-old Texas Congressman won 44.9% of the votes in last night's California straw poll, beating out Rick Perry by a substantial 15.6%.
Jay Leno Doesn't Understand Michele Bachmann's Stance On Gay Marriage
He might be a company man 'til the bitter end, but it's nice to see Jay Leno agree to disagree with Michele Bachmann on same-sex marriage.
Barack Obama Scarlettjohanssoning
Here's a painting of Barack Obama Scarlettjohanssoning in the White House bathroom as Bo the dog looks on. Painting by Dan Lacey.
13 Better Titles For Michele Bachmann's Book
The cover for Michele Bachmann's new book titled "Core of Conviction has been released. So, here are some better titles we came up with.
John Boehner's Response To Obama's Jobs Bill
And all the Tea Party hobbits hoot and holler.
Huntsman Staffer Is "Sick And Sad" Over The State Of The GOP
Her post is pretty eloquent though some of Huntsman's statements would certainly raise questions under what she's saying. Though I suppose she may be offended by those as well.
What Is Rick Perry Thinking?
This photo from last night's GOP debate got us thinking about what Rick Perry thinks about. Here's what we've come up with thus far...
