4.
I bought my gym membership at Costco and now I've got 36-pack abs
6.
I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they're way too big for him.
8.
Excuse me, is this the nude beach? NO THIS IS THE RUDE BEACH *knocks drink from hand* *punches me in throat*
23.
Lawyer: I object! Cop: I protect! Architect: I erect! Biologist: I dissect! Philosopher: I reflect! Teen: I disrespect! Me: I overslept!
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