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Couples Are Sharing Their Unconventional Relationship Hacks And TBH, They're Pretty Damn Interesting

"my husband and I shower together everyday"

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their unconventional hacks that help keep their relationship happy! Here are some of their eye-opening tips:

1. Talking about your silly crushes together.


"We tell each other about things like work crushes – talking about it makes it funny and we can laugh about it instead of letting it build into something real. Having a good laugh about a stupid (and human!) thing like a crush makes us feel like we're in it together and always choose each other."


2. Investing in separate bedding so there's no fighting over blankets during the night.

"Best thing you can do for your relationship is have separate sheets. Share a king mattress and a fitted sheet, and then have separate covers. Sleep at different temps? Separate sheets. Keep getting your blankets stolen? Separate sheets. Don’t like feeling the sheets move? Separate sheets. It allows all the intimacy a couple needs, but makes sleeping itself so much more comfortable."


3. ...or one better, separate beds or bedrooms.


"We have been married for 10 years, and have not slept in the same bed together for about 9.5 of those years. When we bought our house 6 years ago, we opted for separate bedrooms completely. It works for us – I am a very light sleeper, he snores. I like to go to bed early, he likes to stay up later. We wake up at different times. This way we have our own schedules and are comfortable every night. I still have my side of the bed though, lol.


"Married for 10 years also and we prefer our own sleeping space. We still spend time together and have couple time but I am such a light sleeper, he can’t open a door and not wake me."


"Been married 25 years, and our own bedrooms work great for us. Gives us space when we need it and we sleep better."


4. Keeping finances separate from one another.

Republic Records

"Separate bank accounts. As long as the mortgage and our bills are paid, you do you honey. We've been together 12 years and have rarely fought about money."


"My husband and I have separate checking accounts. We each pay a couple bills, there isn’t a 50/50 split. I don’t know exactly how much he has in his account and vice versa. We have never fought over money and we have been together for 19 years."


5. Allowing one another "free passes" so you can get out of social occasions one of you does not want to attend.


"My husband and I each have three free passes a year to get out of events. Say we were invited to dinner with my college friends and he didn’t want to go, he could use a free pass to get out of it and there are no hard feelings."


6. Putting a spare bedroom to good use.


"We have an extra bed in the guest room so whenever one of us needs a quiet night due to lack of sleep, work stress or else, we sleep separated for one night. We're less annoyed the day after and can go on."


7. Not watching TV separately.


"This sounds dumb, but not doing 'separate TVs.' Most couples I know, one person will watch something in the living room while the other will go to a different place to watch something different. We like to give each other’s shows/movies/sports a chance and we usually end up liking it or just roasting it and having fun. My boyfriend has gotten me into horror movies this way and I have slowly engulfed him into the Bachelor universe and trash reality TV."


8. Not giving gifts.


"My girlfriend and I don't do gifts for any holidays or birthdays, but instead we have been doing experiences where we plan a day that the other person would enjoy. So for Christmas I plan a day full of things she would want to do, and she plans a day full of things I would want to do – rule is no complaining! We are opposite in a lot of ways so it's a fun ways to have our worlds collide."


"We don’t buy each other presents for birthday, Christmas, Valentine's, anniversary, etc. Instead we’ll spend money on experiences together. We do sometimes buy each other an impromptu gift, but because it made you think of the other person without the pressure of reciprocation. It’s truly a thoughtful gift that means so much!"


9. Showering together.


"My husband and I shower together every day, not for sexy reasons, but because it's a nice, intimate way to unwind and relax while we talk to each other about our days without any interruptions. It's really helped us communicate better and grow closer.


10. Spending time alone and having a separate vacation.


"We encourage one another to spend time alone. Some people think we are crazy for taking a weekend vacation without each other, but it is awesome. A weekend alone at the beach? Yes please!"


"We go on separate holidays. He goes off to do music stuff and get muddy with his friends, and I go off to make cookies and go to museums with mine. We both get the house to ourselves for a weekend and when the holiday-maker comes home both of us are refreshed and relaxed and ready to tell each other about our separate adventures."


11. Having your own friendship groups that don't really mix.


"We don't mix friends. I don't hang out with his friends and he doesn't hang out with mine. We keep that separate and it's worked really well for us. He gets his time away and I get mine."


12. Keeping separate schedules.


"Married for 3+ years and only recently we came up with this rule that we don't follow the same sleeping and eating schedule. We cook dinner together, but eat at different times and go to bed at different times. Eating dinner together on a table as a family is overrated."


13. Playing video games together.


"We've been playing various Mario Karts every weekend, for 8 years. It's a great, cooperative time spent together. There MUST be one rule though: no friendly fire, unless explicit consent is given!! Breaking this rule will lead to yelling, surliness and even alienation of affection!"


14. Having certain topics that you don't discuss.


"My best friend and her boyfriend have a rule that not many people would understand: they don't talk about his job. She said she decided to do that after they were in bed and he started complaining about his boss. Since his boss is my boss as well, I understood why he complained that much, but she said it made their lives really easier and that every now and then they still discuss certain aspects of his career, but not his boss. I know most couples feel like they should always talk about everything, but they found a way of making things better by leaving certain topics off the table. They have been together for 5 years and it works for them."


15. Creating a device that breaks tension in arguments.


"My partner and I make videos of us telling our future selves not to be mad at each other. It helps break the tension if we get in a pointless argument and don’t want to stay annoyed. It’s a nice reminder that it’s much more fun to hug and forgive than to stay mad for no reason."


16. Or having a phrase you use to signal honest communication.


"Since day one, my fiancé and I have done what we call 'open communication'. When one of us is sensing that the other person isn’t sharing how they really are feeling with the other person, we literally say 'open communication' and the other HAS to explain completely honestly. It is a way easier way to get from problem to solution or to explain where our feelings are stemming from. Answers vary from 'I’m frustrated that I cleaned the bathroom and made dinner and did laundry and you complained about just doing the dishes' or even just 'I’m not in a bad mood, I just have a headache'.


17. Getting two remotes.


"We have had two TV remote controls for over 20 years!! We take turns on who’s ‘running the show’ lol! It’s made all the difference!!"


18. Not living with one another.


"My boyfriend and I have been together for years but still have separate houses. We’re with each other most nights but still have 'me' nights at least once a week. It’s been a blessing to have that alone time, especially since COVID began because we both work from home."


19. Planning your sex life.


"Plan and schedule sex. Sounds boring but is the exact opposite. You have the time to prepare, be rested, the anticipation makes it better. We still do it spontaneously, but it makes it way more interesting! We also communicate better and talk more about what we want, our needs and desires."


20. Not meeting the parents.

Universal Pictures

"We have never met each other’s family. Mine stresses me out, his stresses him out, so we’ve decided to not invite that into our lives. Doesn’t look like an 'Instagram acceptable' relationship, but I have so much happiness and autonomy!"


21. Having a day to yourself at home, especially if you have kids.


"Each of us have a day in. The other takes the kids and leaves the house for the day while the other stays home and does whatever they want...sleep, have dessert for breakfast, play videogames for hours straight etc., as long as the other doesn't come home to a pig sty it's all good. Been together for 12 years and I love my day-in to destress without worrying about putting on pants."


22. And if none of these tips tickles your fancy, maybe this cute story will give you inspiration!

Disney Pixar

"Due to Granddad's 'dreadful snoring' that almost ended their marriage, he leaves their main home at 10PM to sleep in his 'cottage' (granny annexe) at the end of their garden, and returns at 7AM to join Gran for breakfast.

When they want a day apart, he stays in his cottage to read a book, watch TV or paint. Sometimes he invites her to his cottage for lunch or dinner as a fun date.

I didn't know about this set-up until I was 17."


Note: Some entries were edited for length and/or clarity.

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