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1.A sleep eye mask with Bluetooth headphones so you can listen to a book or soft music as you snooze while also keeping out excess light. Me? I'll be napping in the middle of the day while listening to the same podcast episode for the thousandth time, as always.
2.A 3D-printed clip-on sauce holder to up your drive-thru game to a level thought previously unreachable. Cue up "Da' Dip" on repeat for your entire drive.
3.A sponge holder to add a little whimsy to your sink area and to give your hardworking kitchen sponge a tidy place to rest.
4.A pack of Sugru, a moldable glue that sets overnight into silicone rubber. Fix pesky fraying cords, mend toy dinosaur knees, and even hang art on the walls, all with this handy dough.
5.A sleek backpack *with a charging port* so you can keep your devices full of juice while on the go. It's also waterproof and will keep alllll your electronics and papers dry no matter what Mother Nature throws at you.
6.A pair of Bandelettes, slip-on lace bands that prevent thigh chafing and feel like a fun lil' secret under your clothes — and there's no better secret than sweet relief from painful thigh rubbing.
7.A pair of bedsheet suspenders for keeping your fitted sheets taut no matter how much you toss and turn. And there's the bonus laugh after you dress up your mattress to cosplay as an old man.
8.A set of sushi socks that unroll into fun patterns, o*fish*ally putting an end to the notion that socks are a snoozefest.
9.A Kindle Paperwhite with twice the storage of previous models — and it's...ummmm...WATERPROOF! Pencil "Kindle and a bath bomb" into your planner every night until the end of time.
10.An eyeliner stamp to make fast work of the perfect cat eye. Liner newbies and seasoned professionals can agree that this makes the process of throwing on a quick wing much easier.
11.A bidet that will get your booty cleaner than you ever imagined it could be. It's more efficient and eco-friendly than using wads of paper. And a mini butt shower every time you poop? Literally the dream.
12.An earwax remover so you can quickly and safely remove YEARS of waxy buildup. I deeply want to use this, but I'm honestly going to throw up if I keep looking at this photo any longer, so, um, moving on.
13.A three-in-one avocado slicer for making the best food even better. Avoid infomercial-esque knife mishaps and simplify your avocado prep by switching to this tool for halving, pit removal, and slicing.
14.An Amazon Echo Dot so you have a little robot assistant to help you with your schedule, tell you the weather, play music, and *so* much more! Life is just more zesty with a technological sidekick.
15.A wine stain remover, because accidents happen — especially when you're using your glass of wine as a mic to sing "Born to Run" karaoke while jumping on your couch. Just a few spritzes of this and you're free to let out your inner Bruce.
16.A set of miniature spatulas so you can rescue any unreachable product left in your cosmetics bottles. If getting *so* many more uses out of foundations, moisturizers, primers — anything! — doesn't make you do a happy dance, I don't know what will.
17.A Yeti Rambler mug that keeps coffee hot for a ridiculously long time by using double-wall vacuum insulation. No more microwaving your drink over and over again? 🎶Celebrate good times, come on!🎶
18.A wakeup-light alarm clock, because waking up to an aggressive *BeEeEeP* is literally the worst thing in the world. This alarm clock begins to softly glow, mimicking the rising sun, and if that isn't enough to get your lazy bones out of bed, it also makes peaceful noises to get you up and at 'em.
19.A set of eight Star Wars silicone ice cube trays that will chill your drinks and make your nerdy heart soar. Turns out the best way to rid the universe of Darth Vader was just to turn his head into ice and watch it melt.
20.A Milky Piggy carbonated bubble clay mask — not to ~burst your bubble~, but your other masks are boring in comparison. Milky Piggy lifts dirt and oil out of pores and detoxes using green tea, pomegranate, and charcoal powder extract. You'll be left with taut, clean skin and some excellent selfies.
21.A golden set of measuring cups and spoons, because measuring precisely for baking is a snore, but doing so with gorgeous, glimmering utensils? A joy to behold.
oil migraine relief stick so you can finally tell your headaches to buzz off. The bottle is small enough for you to carry everywhere, and based on the cult-status love of this stuff, you'll probably want to.
23.An iced tea tumbler that lets you brew and cool fresh iced tea from scratch in just minutes. Iced drinks all year long is a bold way of life that this tumbler fully condones! Skip shelling out too much money at the counter *and* getting weird looks from baristas when you order iced tea in the winter by getting this bad boy.
24.A customizable coaster set designed to look like old-school Polaroids. Putting coasters out for guests will be a whole lot more appealing if it means you get to show off pics of your latest family vacay.
25.A rain showerhead that'll make your morning shower feel like a five-star experience every dang time. Surprise! You don't need to be on an HGTV show to get one of these; you can simply order it online.
26.An AeroGarden because, although you're *so* caring in many other ways, keeping plants alive might not be one of 'em. This will take care of almost every facet of plant growing, leaving you and your brown thumb to sit back and enjoy the fresh herbs it brings you.
You, rightfully defending all the items in your shopping cart right now.