Do you KNOW how impressive that is?! Let's reflect.
And for a surprising twist, this saga includes some undercover spy work on an online dating site.
Believe it or not, the Hamburglar was involved in this horror show.
A waitress from Indianapolis laid it all out for us in black and white.
Add some color to your vocabulary. You'll fit right in with the high schoolers.
A reasonable argument for better background checks? Ted Nugent.
It's not nice to push your friend Billy off the roof and then yell, "Look, neighbors! It's rainin' Billy!" Thank you, All That
You will be pleased to know that Artie, The Strongest Man in the World is on Twitter.
If you wanted to, you could be buried wearing your bacon bra, inside of a bacon coffin, surrounded by bacon bouquets.
Schmidt from New Girl is perfect in every way.
They seem to be more fond of their middle finger than their thumb.
Danny DeVito is one of the greatest people on the planet. Even with troll feet.
And he doesn't want you to have a good Valentine's Day, either.
Personally, we'd like to believe that Snoop Dogg was actually present.
Whether you've seen them a million times or never seen them before, you'll never forget them now.