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21 Reasons Why 2015 Was The Worst Year Canada Has Ever Seen

Get bent, 2015.

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1. Winter refused to fuck right off.

This year saw the chilliest February in Canada in 115 years, with temperatures between 5 and 9 degrees colder than usual. Don't forget about those brutal storms, either. Spring took its sweet fucking time showing up, with some parts of Canada still experiencing snow in April.

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9. Target broke up with Canada.

Scott Olson / Getty Images

After a whirlwind two-year relationship, Target dumped Canada in January, announcing it was shutting down all 133 of its stores and putting more than 17,000 people out of work. By April, the relationship was completely over, and the only signs of our doomed love are in the form of Target Canada's depressing abandoned stores.

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13. SNAKES IN CRANBERRY SAUCE.

Uh, ew: Ontario woman finds snake in can of Ocean Spray cranberry sauce https://t.co/Xl2OcQHoFT

NNNNNNNOOOOOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

14. The inevitable monkey-human war began in the form of sexually violated parka.

Instagram: @alexisdebad

I, for one, welcome our new monkey overlords.

15. Canada Day "sales" made us weep.

Oh wow. Look at those savings. To all my US friends. This is not a joke. Actual sale.

We just want to get drunk in support of our country, is that so wrong?

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18. Canadian Tourism slogans basically gave up.

Facebook: theproperpun

You couldn't do any better than that?

19. Our super adorable hitchhiking robot was MURDERED in Philadelphia.

@ThatKevinSmith here's what remains of @hitchBOT :

R.I.P. Hitchbot.