"I ordered cookie dough to my apartment at midnight, and the delivery rider asked if I was okay. I mean, what do you think, Robert?"
"I hate to say it — I hope I don't sound ridiculous — I don't know who this man is. I mean, he could be walking down the street, I wouldn't...I wouldn't know a thing."
Basically, the Beatles suck. (JK!)
"American Horror Story" Just Released The "1984" Opening Credits, And It's A Bloody '80s Time Capsule
Ryan Murphy said the concept was inspired by an original fan cut posted on Twitter.
"Girls be crying over a dude who reads at a third-grade level. He's not ignoring your text; he's sounding it out. Give him a second."
Can you distinguish the Versace logo from the Valentino one?
"I can't believe I have to keep washing this stupid body until I die."
At least you'll get Italy right.
"Armed Robber: 'yyyyyitz been' / Me: 'One week since you looked at me'"
"Most people don't know Salt Lake City was included in the Louisiana Purchase."
Twitter Trolled Instagram On Instagram For Being "Screenshots Of Tweets" And Then Posted More Screenshots Of Tweets
"I think @Twitter should call them out."
"Amy Adams could do The Godfather, but Al Pacino couldn’t do Enchanted."
Taylor Swift mudou muito desde Taylor Swift.
All you have to do is remember 10 simple digits.
Will you succeed where others failed?
"You can say this is a bird or bunny, but I'm positive it's a blue dress." —@cspotweet
♫ I'm burnin' up, come put me out, come and put me out ♫
It's Been 10 Years Since The Kanye/Taylor VMA Incident — Here's Everything Else That Happened That Night
When Gaga won Best New Artist and said, "It's for God and for the gays," I felt that.
No es turquesa. No es lapislázuli. De hecho es azul cerúleo.