1. What… what is happening here?
2. Why are Hanna and Jordan sleeping on the set of a really bad '80s porno?
3. Or the love bed from The Sims 2?
4. I love how they keep reminding us that these girls are ~old~ now by having them drink cocktails and have dirty sex.
5. So… Spencer is just going to descend into this hole under Sara's room without even mentioning anything to Aria about how she just disappeared into a closet hole without saying anything?
6. But really this hole is giving me the heebie jeebies, how are they so casual about being down here?
7. And what are those creepy switches on the walls?
8. This whole thing is so fucking elaborate.
9. But when they were remodelling the hotel which idiot didn't notice all these walled off sections under the building?
10. This whole thing is fucked.
11. Oh look, it's a dead end, let's all go home.
12. NO WAIT THERE'S ANOTHER HOLE?
13. And now they're outside?
14. Wtf why can't Sara just use the front door to leave the hotel like a normal person?
15. Or tie her sheets together and escape out the window.
16. This seems like too much.
17. So, was this hole and tunnel here when Charlotte was in Radley?
18. Like, was she sneaking out and doing shady stuff at night?
19. The never-ending curse of Radley.
20. Burn it down, I say.
21. OK so sometimes I love Caleb and Spencer but sometimes it's just icky.
22. I can't make up my mind.
23. Good old Caleb the hacker extraordinaire uncovering all these scoops for Spence.
24. Oh no, Olivia Benson is sick? :'( :'(
25. Pretty shitty way for Spencer to find out though, hey?
26. OMG DETECTIVE TANNER IS BACK?!!!!!!!
27. Lol why?
28. What happened to Lorenzo?
29. Classic unreliable police department.
30. I love how they don't mention her reappearance, like five years later it's nothing out of the ordinary, carry on.
31. Tanner's aged.
32. Finally someone is showing the physical effect Rosewood has on them.
33. So Charlotte got a mysterious phone call on the night she died.
34. And Dr Rollins ~wasn't there~.
35. Suuuuuuuuuuuure mate.
36. I saw that conspiratorial sex glance between you and Ali.
37. But honestly I DGAF about this couple.
38. These girls never go anywhere other than the Brew and Radley.
39. I guess there isn't anywhere else in Rosewood.
40. Except the cupcake place.
41. And the church where there has been at least two murders.
42. OK now I get why they just go to The Brew.
43. Lol cute, the writers remembered Aria has an actual boyfriend.
44. He's here on an undercover mission, we all know it.
45. I love Spencer and Olivia Benson.
46. But this whole subplot of her running for office is a bit of a snooze.
47. When is A going to start ruining her campaign?
48. Also are we supposed to keep calling A, A?
49. Let's just all agree to call him/her A until he/she has a name?
50. A name that isn't Big Emoji or whatever the fuck Caleb came up with last week.
51. Oh no.
52. Poor Em.
53. She literally will never ever ever catch a break.
54. So A is definitely behind this right?
55. I feel bad for all the other couples who are getting fucked over.
56. Also, just when I thought Emily's storyline wouldn't get any more ridiculous, here we go again.
57. So Hanna wakes up to all these panicky texts from her friends… but doesn't even text one of them back to reassure them?
58. Classic Hanna really.
59. "I went to make some calls and use the WiFi without waking you."
60. Good one Jordan.
61. I hate when WiFi wakes me up.
62. OK so Jordan found a breakfast tray outside, which Hanna didn't order.
63. It's definitely from A.
64. Why is Hanna not also jumping to that conclusion?
65. Why is there a fork in his egg eye?
66. Is this foreshadowing?
67. Sure, it's bad that A found her here.
68. But tbh it's probably just plain embarrassing that she got caught staying in a hotel like this.
69. Maybe that's why she wants to leave so quickly.
70. OK so good for Spence and Emily to tell Ali about the text messages.
71. BUT WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL THE GODDAMN COPS.
72. "I don't think this could be a joke, Sara doesn't have any sense of humor left?"
73. Lol she had some in the beginning?
74. Did it burn off with her hands?
75. But hang on. Spencer thinks that the person sending the texts is NOT the person who killed Charlotte?
76. Wat.
77. I'm confused.
78. This is too much.
79. I love it.
80. Sorry but I also DGAF about this Liam storyline either.
81. Ezria 4eva.
82. "If I came here I thought I could read the chapters without you having to put them on the Internet."
83. WAT?!
84. Aria your bf is a weirdo.
85. Which is saying something, cause your ex is fucking deranged as well.
86. He is definitely going to find out that she's been writing Ezra's book.
87. Hanna and Emily have such a great friendship and we don't see enough of it.
88. I love how Hanna is just loaning out Lucas' house to Emily.
89. God this is getting confusing.
90. So now Emily is saying that Charlotte's killer thought they were doing the Liars a favour.
91. And the texter wants to know who killed Charlotte.
92. So they're harassing and stalking these girls in the hopes that they will lead the texter to the killer.
93. Hello texter, here's a free idea.
94. Just ask the girls for help.
95. You can all band together to get the killer.
96. And then live happily ever after.
97. Lol as if.
98. WELL WELL WELL. LOOK WHO IT IS.
99. MONA.
100. THE QUEEN IS HERE.
101. So… Mona planted Yvonne's phone?
102. So that Spencer would see how dirty the other side is playing?
103. And Mona is... doing her a favour?
104. "That sounds very elaborate." Yes Mona. All your harebrained schemes are elaborate though.
105. Why is Mona doing the right thing here?
106. Bitch is up to something.
107. I love it.
108. But also poor Spencer.
109. And poor Olivia. :(
110. Why is Hanna being so goddamn touchy about Em?
111. Jordan is just being understanding and trying to help her ffs.
112. Bitch needs to chill.
113. Jordan is so rational and loving and Hanna is a legit nutter right now.
114. Aria and Liam are having a conversation aka SNOOZEVILLE.
115. He's definitely going to realise that she wrote Ezra's book.
116. When is he going to realise that she's also in love with him?
117. Of course Aria's boyfriend spouts out lame quotes.
118. Liam on Ezra: "It gives me a rush when I read his manuscript."
119. Ezra gave your girlfriend a big old rush too Liam.
120. Oh no wait for it, Liam knows, LIAM KNOWS.
121. UH OH ARIA, YOU'RE CAUGHT OUT.
122. Liam is very nice but also who cares.
123. OMFG is Spencer really asking Caleb to delete the file?
124. HELLO don't you remember what happened the last time one of you deleted something you weren't supposed to?
125. For fuck's sake. These girls.
126. YES YES YES Hanna and Caleb are together!
127. Lol Spencer who?
128. Hahaha now Caleb wants to call A, "Waldo"?
129. Nah, fam.
130. I'm loving this conversation though omg I'm getting so many feels.
131. Caleb Rivers: Beer brewer by day. Hacker extraordinaire by night.
132. Caleb talks about how it was him and Toby who had the idea.
133. Hanna: "You could still open one."
134. That would be so normal to open a brewery with your new girlfriend's ex Caleb, yeah totally do it.
135. They could call it The Brotherhood Of Spencer's Ex And Current Boyfriend.
136. Omg Haleb flashback.
137. Of course her job drove them apart.
138. OF COURSE.
139. The fashion world always does in these shows.
140. Tbh Caleb, no one likes a mopey, pessimistic boyfriend at a party.
141. Especially one that hangs out with cats in dark alleyways.
142. No matter how lonely you're feeling.
143. And no matter how much of a Cybil your girlfriend is being.
144. Tanner is judging Emily on drinking "coffee" at night.
145. Like wow Tanner, get off her back.
146. Go do your fucking job or something, idk.
147. "When you guys were gone… no murders!"
148. What a strange sentence.
149. Also that's definitely not a "statistic".
150. Why does Tanner always sound so damn threatening?
151. Every single line she says has menacing undertones.
152. "Don't let your tea get cold."
153. That should not sound threatening, and yet, here we are.
154. God why is Ali always lurking outside people's doors?
155. Yesss another Mona scene
156. Caleb's gone all Liam Neeson in Taken. "I WILL FIND YOU. AND I WILL KILL YOU."
157. "Who kisses better: Hanna, Spencer or me?"
158. GODDAMN.
159. WHAT.
160. WHAAAAAT.
161. Hang on. Did we know that Mona and Caleb hooked up?
162. Like… did that happen back in season one and we've all forgotten?
163. Also I love how Mona doesn't give a fuck about Caleb's threats, is just all "lol but who kisses better."
164. As if that's even a question.
165. Mona definitely does.
166. Yay now we get to hear Ali talk about Dr Rollins aka the most simultaneously weird and boring relationship ever.
167. TFW you confuse gratitude for wanting to fuck.
168. Lol @ Spencer doling out relationship advice.
169. Spencer: "And it was also inappropriate because it was your sister's doctor."
170. Um Spencer, like you can talk.
171. You're dating your bestie's ex, must I remind you.
172. And remember when you kissed Ian?
173. And Wren?
174. Lolololol gurl get off your high horse.
175. OK so I know that Spencer and her mom are having an important conversation about polling and votes and counties or whatever, but all I can hear her say is "Scranton".
176. Scranton as in... THE ELECTRIC CITY?!?!?
177. Get Michael Scott in here stat, please.
178. He would make this all better.
179. Or at least more entertaining.
180. But honestly, there is no way Olivia Benson is going to be fine.
181. Or even alive tomorrow. This is PLL, anything could happen.
182. It's OK Olivia, if you had done this ten years ago you wouldn't have had your kickass young daughter to help out!
183. TBH 13-year-old Spencer probably could have done it as well.
184. At least she's not on drugs anymore.
185. We think.
186. Whenever there is a scene between Ali and Dr Rollins, I can hear Emison fangirls crying.
187. Why are these goddamn dummies back underneath Radley?
188. And did they have to climb over the balcony to get down the hole again?
189. Fucking hell.
190. At least it looks like Aria's not wearing platforms this time.
191. EMILY?! What are you doing here?
192. "I thought there was an old freezer down there or something."
193. Hang on.
194. Girl.
195. You thought that A had taken your eggs from the medical centre?
196. And is now storing them in a corridor underneath a hotel that used to be an insane asylum.
197. That's fucking delusional.
198. Sorry Em. But girl.
199. Though I guess anything's plausible on this show.
200. Stranger storylines have happened.
201. But if she DID find her eggs… what would she have done?
202. Taken them back to the medical centre like "Hello, what a coincidence, look what I found!"
203. I was OK with the idea of Spencer and Caleb together until that Haleb scene earlier and now Spencer can go to hell.
204. Though this scene in front of the fire is pretty cute.
205. Ugh.
206. Hang on… Ezra's back?
207. Just like that?
208. And he rocks up at The Brew CONVENIENTLY when Aria is there writing his fucking book?
209. Well little Aria, you've dug yourself quite a hole.
210. "I should be flattered that you thought I'd kill someone for you." Classic Rosewood logic.
211. Sooooooooooooo Aria's parents asked Ezra not to tell her they were together?
212. And that's what led to this whole storyline of Ezra being the murderer?
213. Lmao at Aria calling the four liars "vigilantes".
214. The most accurate description ever.
215. The real question is: why are truckers stopping for pies in Rosewood at 3am?
216. Thank god Ezra's back though.
217. I never thought I'd be so excited to see his drunk ass.
218. Though we can tell Ezra has his life back together because he's clean shaven again.
219. He's completely sober.
220. That's what it means.
221. Well there's the relevance of Melissa's suitcase.
222. Tbh I was just hoping Wren would jump out.
223. "Surprise bitches."
224. It was me all along!
225. But honestly. What the fuck?
226. How do you kill someone with a cheap suitcase handle?
227. Fuck me.
228. The old timey music is back!
229. Wait so someone is scrubbing… electrical switches?
230. Wat.
231. THESE ARE GIRL HANDS.
232. I think I.Marlene is giving us all the distractions in the world to take our focus off the fact literally even the writers don't know what's going on here anymore.
233. Same.
