Until someone invents heaters you can strap to your feet, these are your best bets!
Basically, you buy these, show up with them at next family get-together, say "How you doing, sport?" to your dad, then cherish his envy.
When the apocalypse comes, you better get ready to eat a lot of these.
Move those tax forms over so you've got room for your favorite hot sauce!
Oh, is that a No-Face costume? Take this whole bag, kid.
🎶I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through. 🎶
If you've ever been not-dry, you need to take a look at these!
No matter how fast your life is, you still have to wash your hair (sadly).
I know we're having the times of our lives, but could you please use a coaster?
Please leave your shoes at the door, before reading this post, thank you very much.
Can you pass me that bottle? I haven't had lunch yet.
Covering these socks with ~normal~ shoes is a sin, buddy.
Don't talk to me before I order/drink all of this coffee.
No, don't throw that away; you might need it, next year.
Why go back to nature when you can go to Walmart?
Every writer needs the ~write~ tools (you PROBABLY knew that pun was showing up here, but I have no regrets).
You can buy small and still have it all.
A lot of ~Feet Talk~ in this post, don't be surprised.