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1. A six-piece hotel-quality towel set woven with zero-twist yarn so they're soft and absorbent, like a bunch of foldable marshmallows you use to dry off.
2. A three-pack of microfiber car-detailing towels to polish your ride into a two-ton mirror. "Hold on, let me look at my front bumper and check if I have food in my teeth."
3. A tropical parrot beach towel for a splash of color on the sand and an eye-catching way to keep that same sand out of your shorts.
4. A 12-pack of flour-sack towels with lint-free fabric so they can work overtime as food strainers, embroidery templates, and the reason you never have to buy another paper towel roll.
5. Or a roll of reusable and washable bamboo paper towels that you might accidentally throw out months before they need to be replaced.
6. A hot yoga towel so you have something to roll up in and dry off, after sweating it out in Wounded Peacock Pose.
7. A subtly ornate towel set that gives a touch of elegance to the guest bathroom, a room otherwise only given attention to when the whole family rushes inside after a long car ride.
8. A pack of face towels labeled for each day of the Sweaty Week.
9. An extra-large bath towel to drape around your shoulders like you're a casually-handsome model in an aftershave commercial.
10. A packable quick-drying towel when you don't have the time or the space for some kind of Antique Towel that dries you slowly and crowds your bag.
11. A four-pack of fingertip towels with finished edges to prevent unraveling, for a decorative towel that doesn't fray without function.
12. A four-pack of vintage-striped towels to give your kitchen that classic diner feel, complimented by an air fryer that diner-folk of old couldn't have imagined in their crispiest dreams.
13. An 820-gram cotton hand towel for the experience of putting your hands into an ocean of heavy cotton and pulling them out dry.
14. A microfiber hair towel that cuts down on the time your strands need to be swaddled out of their dampness.
15. A six-piece Turkish Cotton towel set with accent stripes, because you're going to have those times when you have to stare at the decor of your bathroom long enough to realize you should color-coordinate it.
16. An exfoliating towel to massage vitality back into your skin and return the healthy glow your stressful life stole from you.
17. A two-pack of self-cleaning washcloths that promise to stay odor-free, even after you wipe that pizza grease off your face, no judgement.
18. A spa towel wrap so you no longer have to bring the internal debate of, "Do I adjust this towel, right now, or will these people just have to see my nipples?" into every locker room.
19. And a quick-drying eight-piece towel set you can give your friends as a practical gag gift. "What, you don't get the joke? Well, I guess my humor is too dry."
I'm just trying to get dry, tbh.
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