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1. A set of bed bands that work like suspenders to keep your fitted sheet in place...no matter how much tossing and turning you get up to during the night. I sincerely hope that Bella Swan owned these.
2. A brushed knit shacket which makes a wrinkled tee and black leggings look très cool, as the Parisian style bloggers would say. Layer this under your favorite peacoat for extra warmth because yes, it's beautiful, but no, it's not great for frigid temps.
3. An adjustable ~garbage can~ to toss the food wrappers, receipts, and heaven-knows-what-else that accumulates in your vehicle. Picture it now: a world in which your passenger seat isn't cluttered with coffee to-go cups.
4. A bottle of Glossier Skin Tint known for having a breathable formula that blurs pores and lightly covers redness without feeling feeling like your typical foundation — in other words, this doesn't feel like you're wearing a layer of product. In fact, it feels like nothing at all.
5. Black loafers to add polish to any outfit, even if said outfit consists of black leggings and a wrinkled tee. Throw on a black blazer for extra oomph and hoorah! We’re got a recipe for your next #ootd.
6. A toothpaste holder with a toothpaste *squeezer* to make sure you get every last minty drop trapped in that damn tube. (One reviewer even describes this as ingenious and TBH, they are not wrong.)
7. A six-port outlet that swivels because the only outlet in your entire bedroom is covered by a heavy dresser. Say so long, farewell to wiggling furniture out in order to make room for bulky plugs: this lets you charge six devices at the same darn time.
8. A reversible waterproof desk mat that cackles in the face of coffee rings. Plus, don't have a space large enough to accommodate a fancy WFH set-up? Same. Slap this bebe on your living room coffee table to at least give the *feeling* of typing away at a genuine office desk.
9. Ownest Eyebrow Soap Kit adds texture and thickness to unruly facial caterpillars, providing a ~feathery~ look that ensures each individual eyebrow hair stays in place all. day. long.
10. A set of Burlybands for a quick my-hair-is-dirty pony, because it's time we ditch the dollar store hair ties and look to greener pastures. These won't stretch out, won't break after that extra wrap, and genuinely stay in place, plus they feature a seamless design that won't damage your hair (...unlike the one you're currently sporting on your wrist).
11. A Crack'em egg cracker and spoon rest about to make breakfast a whole lot tidier. Say so long and farewell to countertops stained with runny yolk and shell bits making their way into pancake batter — this TikTok-famous gadget makes cooking ~over~ easy.
12. A set of oven liners to save you the heartache (yes, heartache) of burnt roast chicken bits — the kind that will require a minimum of seven scouring pads and so. much. backache.
13. Gel nail strips to turn your fingers into a minimalist work of art. Worthy of the Louvre! The Met! The MoMA! Or at the very least, your Instagram. Reviewers rave that these strips remain intact for days, which is more than I can say about the liquid formula I applied yesterday that ::checks hands:: already chipped.
14. And! A clear Mavala Switzerland polish purposely designed to have a bitter taste, the kind that will make even the most chronic nail-biter think twice before snacking on a finger. Less nail biting = stronger nails, faster growth, healthier cuticles, and a longer-lasting manicure.
15. A pumice-like stone for removing accumulated lint and pilling, because no one has to know about the 250 times you washed and wore that fleece hoodie. A few swipes of this = your most beloved wardrobe staples will look newly plucked from the racks of your favorite store.
16. A faux wood electrical cord box to hide unsightly wires that cause heartache by just looking at them. The tangles! The never-ending tangles! They're more than I can personally handle, so I will be hiding them with this box: It's the more efficient tech equivalent of "the chair."*
17. High-waisted palazzo trousers that laugh in the face of business casual's past with a cinched waist, wide-leg silhouette. Translation: These are comparable to leggings in comfort but still allow you to retire those stuffy black slacks. *shudders at the thought of wearing them*
18. A plant-based gel cream to tame baby hairs and flyaways in a jiffy. The best part? This formula is non-greasy, completely transparent, the mascara wand makes it super easy to apply, and will make your 'do look more polished with basically no effort required.
19. Or! An edge control gel to help lay your edges and slick back baby hairs with just a few flicks of product. Major bonus points: It won't flake or leave behind any residue, which is *heart eyes* the definition of perfection in our book.
20. A two-piece seamless activewear set making me want to go for a hike in the great outdoors — and I hate the great outdoors. This comfy 'fit is athleisure perfection: Throw it on with a denim jacket for errands, with a cardigan whilst working from home, and wear as/is for that 20-minute kickboxing video you *promise* you'll get to today.
21. A waterfall hanger solution for folks who consider their cramped closet a personality trait. This takes advantage of allll the vertical space left unused in your closet, thus affording you the opportunity to...well...pack in more dresses.
22. L'Oreal Paris Makeup True Match Lumi Glotion – it brightens your complexion and requires exactly *does double take* zero effort. This glycerin- and shea butter-infused formula is super lightweight and hydrating, while an illuminating tint adds instant glow.
23. A tie-waist shirt because it's about time you retire that $12 version you bought for that internship interview during your senior year of college. It had a good run, but it's time to move on to an upgraded classic that is the heart eyes emoji embodied. (This is the perfect thing to slip on when you want to feel put-together in a pinch.)
24. Smart stickers that will force you to finally organize the contents of your garage. Rather than rummaging through every single box to find the appropriate seasonal decor, turn to these stickers! Stick 'em on before fully packing up a box, download the associated app, and you'll be able to pull up a list that tells you *exactly* what's in each box!
25. A shower curtain liner with mesh pockets for anyone done with cluttering the corners of their (very tiny) bathtub via an excess of shampoo bottles. You like one for volume and you like the other for strength; I get it. This makes it easy to store a ton of stuff without making your tub feel cluttered.
26. A sleeved turtleneck sweater available in multiple colors and beckoning you to add it to that Amazon shopping cart, stat. This provides lightweight warmth (no suffocation sweating here) and tucks perfectly into your trusty high-waisted skinnies.
27. A reusable Revlon oil-absorbing roller stick made with volcanic stone to give greasy T-zones a permanent boot. Quickly whip this out between Zoom meetings for a shine-free forehead that required no annoying setting powder ~or~ any mattifying primers.
28. A portable pack of soap sheets that will certainly come in ~handy~, particularly during *eye twitches* these times. Public toilets — and the decorative dispensers that never contain soap — will no longer have to feel like the enemy.
29. A turtleneck sweater dress for a look that screams "I tried" but requires merely 10 seconds of effort. Throw this on, reach for a leather crossbody and heeled boots, and et voilà.
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