60 Songs That Will Clear Out The Bathroom At Any Gay Bar

What are we missing?

A couple years ago we made a post of songs that make gay people scream every time you play them. Two years have passed and the list needed updating, so here it is.

1. "Into You" by Ariana Grande

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Why this song is on this list: Because every gay under the age of 26 would literally murder me if it was not on this list.

2. "Dancing on My Own" by Robyn

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because every single homosexual has had a "Dancing On My Own" *moment* at one time in their life. *cries*

3. "Why Did You Do That?" by Ally

Warner Bros.

Why this song is on this list: Because Lady Gaga wasn't giving the gays what they wanted so an up-and-coming artist named Ally did.

4. "Juice" by Lizzo

UMG

Why this song is on this list: Because in 2019 gays LOVE saying they "just got into Lizzo."

5. "Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato

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Why this song is on this list: Because this has been the gay song of summer for five straight years.

6. "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because it's a spiritual experience when this song comes on after three or seven vodka sodas in the middle of July.

7. "Sparks" by Hilary Duff

SME

Why this song is on this list: Because straight people let it flop and now they must pay.

8. "Say You'll Be There" by the Spice Girls

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because the Spice Girls invented armography.

9. "Heaven Is A Place On Earth" by Belinda Carlile

UMG

Why this song is on this list: Because that episode of "Black Mirror" destroyed me.

10. "Work Bitch" by Britney Spears

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because this the most non-relatable relatable song to gays.

11. Literally anything from Kacey Musgraves' "Golden Hour" album.

UMG

Why this song is on this list: Because it should be required gay listening, like homework, to stream Kacey Musgraves.

12. The really fast speaking part in "Never Really Over"

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Why this song is on this list: Because I swear to God, when this song came out, it became every gays' mission to learn that part.

13. "Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Mya, Lil' Kim, and Pink

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Why this song is on this list: Because every time this song plays I become infinitely gayer.

14. "All for You" by Janet Jackson

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Why this song is on this list: Because the "EDIT, 4, 3, 2, 1" part.

15. "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga

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Why this song is on this list: Because there was a messy argument amongst gays about which Gaga song to put on this list, and I wanted "LoveGame," but the majority wanted "Bad Romance." Go figure.

16. "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because I've never met a gay who doesn't love singing that "white trash version of Shania karaoke" line.

17. "It's Not Right But It's Okay (Thunderpuss Remix)" by Whitney Houston

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Why this song is on this list: Because this is one of the most important remixes in gay history.

18. "Believe" by Cher

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Why this song is on this list: Because Cher, and also it still sounds amazing 20+ years later.

19. "Potential Breakup Song" by Aly & AJ

Hollywood Records

Why this song is on this list: Because you know the Aly & AJ gays would riot if it wasn't on this list.

20. "The Boy Is Mine" by Brandy & Monica

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Why this song is on this list: Because I've had friends get in legit fights over who is Brandy and who is Monica.

21. "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because everyones tries to "freeze dance" whenever it plays (like the music video).

22. "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because the gay gasp that happens every time this song starts playing is deafening.

23. "Love on Top" by Beyoncé

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because it doesn't get pitchier than a bunch of queens on the dance floor trying to hit those final notes.

24. "Bodak Yellow" by Cardi B

WMG

Why this song is on this list: Because every gay can suddenly rap when it comes on.

25. "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because somewhere in that very special section of homo heaven, this song is playing.

26. "On A Roll" by Ashley O.

Netflix

Why this song is on this list: Because a fictional pop star with a bad lilac wig has the best pop song of 2019.

27. "Too Little Too Late" or "Leave (Get Out)" by JoJo

UMG

Why this song is on this list: Because every millennial gay has gotten walked in on by their parents lip syncing for their life to either of these JoJo classics.

28. "Dirty Talk" by Wynter Gordon

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Why this song is on this list: Because this is probably the filthiest song ever written. It's amazing.

29. "Bidi Bidi Bom Bom" by Selena

UMG

Why this song is on this list: Because on this website we worship Saint Selena.

30. "Only Girl (In The World)" by Rihanna

Def Jam

Why this song is on this list: Because most (straight) people don't know this, but this song is actually about bottoming.

31. "Gimme More" by Britney Spears

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because there is nothing more triggering to gays than hearing, "It's Britney, bitch."

32. "Stars Are Blind" by Paris Hilton

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because this song will be played at my funeral.

33. "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because drama. This song is drama and I'm here for it.

34. "Can't Get You Out of My Head" by Kylie Minogue

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Why this song is on this list: Because I've seen some dirty things happen when this gets played.

35. "Finally" by CeCe Peniston

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Why this song is on this list: Because the "old" queen at the bar tells you how they don't make classics like this anymore and you're like, "I KNOW!"

36. "Break Free" by Ariana Grande

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Why this song is on this list: Because the gays were there for Ariana before the general public got into her this past year.

37. "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls

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Why this song is on this list: Because every gay has spilled their drink mid-grind channeling their inner-Nicole what's her face.

38. "I'm a Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears

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Why this song is on this list: Because every gay is suddenly a belly dancer when this comes on.

39. "Damaged" by Danity Kane

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Why this song is on this list: Because #JusticeForDanityKane.

40. "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because #StreamDedicated.

41. "Run Away With Me" by Carly Rae Jepsen

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Why this song is on this list: Same as above.

42. "Candy" by Mandy Moore

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Why this song is on this list: Because I have never actually heard this song out, but I know many a gay who would prolapse at the sound of the "twinkles" in the beginning.

43. "Work It" by Missy Elliott

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Why this song is on this list: Because even though I don't have one, I still want to shave my metaphorical "chocha."

44. "Fergalicious" by Fergie

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because if you're gay and you don't know all the verses then what are you even doing?!!

45. "Get Outta My Way" by Kylie Minogue

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Why this song is on this list: Because America really dropped the ball on Kylie, and that just isn't fair.

46. "He Wasn't Man Enough" by Toni Braxton

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Why this song is on this list: Because the lyrics are iconic and too real.

47. "Work" by Rihanna

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because a certain kind of power comes over a gay's body when this plays.

48. "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because it is truly insane how loud people scream-sing-spell the word "bananas."

49. "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston

youtube.com

Why this song is on this list: Because quite frankly, it's a crowd-pleaser that sounds as good today as it did over 30 years ago.

50. "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor

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Why this song is on this list: Because every time this song plays a baby gay gets its metaphorical wings...yeah, I have no idea what that means.

51. "Like a Prayer" by Madonna

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Why this song is on this list: Because when this gets played it inevitably turns into the gayest sing-along ever.

52. "My Neck, My Back" by Khia

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Why this song is on this list: Because Khia is a legend. End of story.

53. "No Scrubs" by TLC

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Why this song is on this list: Because I once deleted Grindr after hearing this.

54. "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj

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Why this song is on this list: Because I swear to God, there's always some sort of competition when this song comes on over which queen knows the lyrics or not.

55. "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony

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Why this song is on this list: Because I have never in my life seen so many twinks lose their damn minds at pride a few years ago when this came on.

56. "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus

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Why this song is on this list: Because if you go to LA and don't listen to this song while landing at LAX you'll have seven years bad luck.

57. "We Found Love" by Rihanna

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Why this song is on this list: Because this IS Rihanna's actual best song and music video.

58. "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry

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Why this song is on this list: Because this is Katy's opus.

59. "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls

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Why this song is on this list: Because we've all seen *that girl* flub Mel B's verse and secretly judged them for it.

60. "Waiting for Tonight" by Jennifer Lopez

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Why this song is on this list: Because all gays will agree that this is J.Lo's best song.

And here's the Spotify playlist: