As countries around the world are debating whether or not to open their borders to refugees, this is the perfect time to remind everyone about the real reasons why countries should keep refugees out.
Everyone knows refugees are responsible for nothing of value in the world, right?
1.For instance, sriracha. HATE THE STUFF! Who needs it.
2.You know Steve Jobs? The guy who helped invent the thing you're using to read this? You like Apple? Welp, his dad was a Syrian refugee.
3.And Albert Einstein? Not interested. Dumb mustache, too.
4.And birth control? Completely unnecessary.
5.And doughnuts? Literally cannot express how useless and pointless I think doughnuts are. What a waste of ingredients.
6.Bambi? Made me cry too much. Should have never happened.
8.To be honest, Chopin hurts me ears. Turn it down.
9.The Fugees? Hate 'em. Hate rhythm. Wish they never happened.
10.And M.I.A.? What's the point?
11.You like the internet? No. Me neither. Without refugees we probably wouldn't have it, because a Nigerian refugee came up with a formula that allowed multiple computers to communicate together.
12.Honestly can't say I'm interested in Iman, the first black supermodel. Seems pointless.
13.And then there's Grease. Hate musicals. Hate joy.
14.Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine? Stay away, please.