55 Very, Very, Funny Tweets From The Extremely Long Month Of January
"When one door closes, another opens." —Boeing
Folks, the first month of 2024 is almost complete and for some reason, January ALWAYS feels like a million years long.
one thing about January is that she's going to make sure you feel all 31 of her days
— iced latté ⚕️ (@_veuillez) January 24, 2024
Well, Twitter was pretty hilarious this month, from award show memes to the Chicago rat hole, I genuinely had a great time scrolling. I've gathered January's best tweets from BuzzFeed's weekly viral tweets, fails, and Black Twitter for your enjoyment, so let's get into it:
1.
“They know me here” pic.twitter.com/nEy8ojMJCn
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) January 21, 2024
2.
told my grandma the time of my graduation & date & this what she said….. bruh…. pic.twitter.com/Zp40h7NvSw
— pacience (@fendiflikks) January 17, 2024
3.
I just fell on this mat yall im so irritated 🤬😤 pic.twitter.com/l4skfPy0gM
— . (@lexxijeannnnnnn) January 9, 2024
4.
yo why is my bartender googling “vodka soda” rn pic.twitter.com/BkdNTWJvkW
— Norb Lamby (@oh_bloodynora) January 14, 2024
5.
I visited a gun shop in Indiana once and had to use the bathroom; inside was a portrait of a naked man with a thick wooden board covering where his private part would be. Curiosity got the best of me and I tried to lift the board. It let off an air horn throughout the whole store
— Brianna (@singingbirth) January 21, 2024
6.
paid tribute to the chicago rat hole today pic.twitter.com/jDM1vWPPNo
— beer person (@CantEverDie) January 13, 2024
7.
I had an apartment inspection 😭 pic.twitter.com/76RyI3VGYx
— ᥫ᭡ T. Garielle 💕 (@Locwittati) January 19, 2024
8.
sneezed like 5 times really loudly and my neighbour said shut the fuck up behind the wall next to my bed pic.twitter.com/L40EyG6GnD
— اقراﺀ (@ghoulhag) January 22, 2024
9.
I feel there could have been a better way for management to diarise my annual leave pic.twitter.com/GcPHGQCtCu
— jack (@hiyajackk) January 22, 2024
10.
Who Made This? 🤣 pic.twitter.com/0BhZO0JJ0A
— Shawn K The King (@SKTheKingYT) January 10, 2024
11.
Jealous of everyone who gets drunk and does normal things like online shop. Tell me why I just got this email pic.twitter.com/z5APgB78P8
— eliza (@elizamclamb) January 7, 2024
12.
As disgusting as it is, it would solve all my financial problems https://t.co/XJf4lkstVk
— Trevor (@Tokyo_Trev) January 8, 2024
13.
Me trying to put on my shoe without having to use my fingers to help me pic.twitter.com/CNdI7ReC3a
— 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨 ✰🧸 (@ilydari0z) January 20, 2024
14.
Back when our hedgehog died, my wife went in the backyard to dig a grave and while i trying not to cry in the kitchen I get this text from her and it made me giggle. pic.twitter.com/rKTdwqPmzn
— Hispanic Shaun King (@okimstillhungry) January 22, 2024
16.
Oh okay so when Jason Kelce does it everyone loves it but when I do it it’s “time to go home” pic.twitter.com/y80wsuru7d
— Charlotte Wilder (@TheWilderThings) January 22, 2024
17.
In tha criminal fahkin justice system, the people ah represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The police, who investigate crime, and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offendahs. These ah their stories, kid. pic.twitter.com/DhBatEy9dR
— Anthony Zonfrelli (@azonfrelli) January 20, 2024
18.
years ago this would've got u on ellen https://t.co/YKcEGrQY2D
— ronan (@rxnanbell) January 9, 2024
19.
they’re calling the white people thugs ! pic.twitter.com/xYRVNOcjx3
— nina wit da nina ✰ (@ninakapri) January 22, 2024
20.
Steam pic.twitter.com/h60VvbdoHY
— democore rahad jackson (@nickhexum311) January 20, 2024
22.
“When one door closes, another opens.”
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) January 9, 2024
— Boeing
23.
Ron DeSantis the minute he dropped out of the presidential race: pic.twitter.com/dQqmtjEp29
— eric (@MrEAnders) January 22, 2024
24.
imagine walking out the door at the same time and you kiss on accident https://t.co/qN6jW10PtZ
— leisha (@leisha1196) January 7, 2024
25.
DONT GO TO THE DMV WITH ONLY ONE PROOF OF IDENTIFICATION pic.twitter.com/8W9eiTL5t6
— Brock (@brockomole) January 12, 2024
26.
put them in the bear pic.twitter.com/RovgRvolHq
— anne (@onepoorsonnet) January 23, 2024
27.
tried to take an outfit pic, but someone had other plans.. pic.twitter.com/E6dwK00n5w
— bella (@earlygirl__) January 14, 2024
28.
I go to Walmart everyday and put me some eggs in my pocket 🙏🏽💪🏽 pic.twitter.com/nUBxPoJuWc
— 𝟚ꫝⅈᧁꫝ𝟚ᥴ𝕣ꪗ 🌶️ (@xo_dreamyy) January 18, 2024
30.
"incorrect username or password"
— Jenni (@hashjenni) January 18, 2024
BITCH, WHICH ONE IS IT!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/q9qWtSqT3H
31.
my uterine lining is falling out of my body but yes, sir, how may I help you.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) January 17, 2024
32.
every time i get angry i take another bite out of my clock pic.twitter.com/ExeCnpaKy0
— horse dentist (@equine__dentist) January 26, 2024
33.
I LOVE smoking with paranoid bitches like yes girl they are coming but we are stronger!!!
— Rachel S. Lurs 🔻 (@finallgirll) January 15, 2024
34.
perfect location for a chili’s https://t.co/lkWFui3RX7 pic.twitter.com/U96S0mOVkU
— stoolie memes (@StoolieMemes) January 18, 2024
35.
her body is literally tea pic.twitter.com/aUYF4HX4pp
— paige (@vampsneverhurtu) January 10, 2024
36.
Just rejected all cookies on a website… OKAYYYYYYYY it’s giving skinny!
— macklin (@saintmacklin) January 16, 2024
38.
how i look at the man i told everyone i hate pic.twitter.com/Eb4jd1Hke5
— tat 🪲 (@heluvstat) January 27, 2024
39.
I received three job rejections today and it's just like... am I not my grandma's special boy to these people
— not using my name anymore bc it’s cooler that way (@yeahnahaye_) January 12, 2024
40.
It’s gone past well done, it’s on Congratulations https://t.co/a008ZZbKhx
— Tshayingwe (@LukanyoMngqolo) January 27, 2024
41.
deciding between garlic or buttered naan like that's the real naan binary
— 𝔎𝔥𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔧𝔞𝔥 🗝₊˚⊹♡ (@gwenisonline) January 16, 2024
42.
i like candles cuz it's kinda like having fire as a pet
— Jenna SaysQuoi (@jennasaysquoi) January 26, 2024
43.
“if i don’t win i’m leaving” SHE’S SO UNSERIOUS😭😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/yG6DBcKRRr
— 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚 (@beyoncegarden) January 8, 2024
44.
my bf had a bad experience getting a sub the other day where they put an ungodly amount of mayo on his sandwich and then that night he was talking in his sleep like “that’s plenty…. that enough may—“ homie was having stress dreams about mayo
— neanderthalya (@thalyamk) January 8, 2024
45.
Well this is new. My pepper is with child. pic.twitter.com/ttvL0sSPYW
— Kay (@KaylarWill) January 18, 2024
46.
I told my mom that her apple pie tasted a little weird this year, and she goes “Really? I always use the same recipe. The nutmeg was a bit clumpy, maybe it didn’t blend well…”
— Sarah McGonagall (@gothspiderbitch) January 6, 2024
She takes out the jar to show me, and after a very long pause, I say “Mom…this expired 24 years ago.” pic.twitter.com/mhFutRzinM
47.
Me establishing a boundary pic.twitter.com/VLz60Nmu8r
— danlet (@evildanevil) January 24, 2024
49.
i love when a restaurant’s bathroom is in the basement. it’s like ok brb i’m gonna go explore the catacombs
— chase (@_chase_____) January 7, 2024
50.
welcome to arrowhead bitches pic.twitter.com/GJrRlhmFJ6
— platinum sombrero (@platinombrero) January 14, 2024
51.
@RGT_Thoughts / @843KT52.
going to the philippines pic.twitter.com/WU8beQyHcE
— ℑ (@milkshapes) January 4, 2024
53.
My husband made those easy bake pillsbury crescent rolls this morning.
— Nimisha Barton (@NimishaBarton) January 1, 2024
Ladies and gentlemen, the crescent rolls: pic.twitter.com/yU5keyGY7M
54.
Black people will make fun of you for anything, I wore a trench coat to dinner 4 months ago & up till now I’m still being called inspector gadget 😒
— v ★ (@venuvelli) January 14, 2024
55.
When I randomly remember one of my shirts I haven’t seen in a while pic.twitter.com/Rgy2I7RFYW
— rev (@whyrev) January 19, 2024