We hope you love our recommendations! Some may have been sent as samples, but all were independently selected by our editors. Just FYI, BuzzFeed and its publishing partners may collect a share of sales and/or other compensation from the links on this page.
1. A stainless-steel tongue scraper to banish bad bacteria and improve stinky breath. This way you won't suffer the embarrassment of someone offering you a breath mint.
2. A Squatty Potty, because a bout of constipation shouldn't leave you down in the ~dumps~. Squatting changes the angle of your anal canal, opening it up so it's easier for things to exit.
3. And don't forget a before-you-go toilet spray to hide any evidence. Even if you're one of those weirdly confident people who can poop in a house full of people without issue, having this in your bathroom for others can calm nervous pooers.
4. An acne patch for those days when a pimple pops up. Hydrocolloid, tea tree oil, and calendula oil are gentle on the skin while still drawing out fluids and pus from your pimple.
5. A pack of lemon-scented fizzing toilet tabs that'll sanitize your bowl and keep it smelling fresh without you ever having to break a sweat. Just toss one in and let it get to work loosening stains.
Happy Earth Boutique / Etsy
Happy Earth Boutique is a New Jersey-based small business that sells cleaning products and bodycare products.
Promising review: "These lemon toilet fizzies work great and I love that they are earth friendly. They come in an attractive little jar so you can sit it on the toilet tank and it looks so nice! Shipping was fast too." —Diane LeBreux
Get 15 tablets from Happy Earth Boutique on Etsy for $12.99+ (available in two scents and with or without a glass jar).
6. A bottle of dandruff shampoo so you can banish white flakes from your scalp. It's made with ketoconazole 1%, an antifungal ingredient that'll tell your dandruff it's no longer welcome here.
Promising review: "MIRACLE PRODUCT! If you have a flaky scalp from dandruff, BUY THIS. I was about to go to the dermatologist if this stuff didn’t work. Thank goodness I saved myself hundreds of dollars by giving this product a shot. I used it four of five times (over a month) and it cleared my scalp almost completely. One more use and my scalp will be 120% healed! This stuff blew my mind. Totally worth it." —chris
Get it from Amazon for $13.15.
7. A grout paint pen to cover up the mortifyingly large amount of dirt and grime that has fallen into the cracks. It works like a regular marker, so even the people who failed art can use it. And it beats actually having to clean! 🙃
8. A cuticle oil that'll restore your shredded nails after a gel mani. A combination of sweet almond oil, vitamin E, and jojoba softens the cuticle and strengthens your claws so you'll be proud to show them off.
9. A pumice cleaning stone for powering through tough rust, lime, and calcium streaks you have to explain to your S.O. are not poop stains — you swear! Give your tired arms a break and let this little guy scrub away discoloration with ease. This non-toxic cleaner is tough on dirt but gentle on porcelain so you can sit atop the listening throne you deserve.
10. A clay mask so you can basically vacuum out your pores. It may also help reduce the frequency of your breakouts and soften your skin.
11. A jetted tub cleaner, because who knows when the last time you cleaned it was. (I hate to break it to you, but you're probably chillaxing in dirty water.) This cleanser is made to flush out soap scum, body oils, and those black flakes that gunk up your tub's jets.
12. A Home Chef subscription to hide the fact that you basically can't even boil water. Select your favorite recipes for the week from Home Chef's menu and they'll send you everything you need (including pre-portioned ingredients). It's so easy! They also offer ready-made meals in case you just don't have the time, energy, or inclination to cook.
13. A soil-free AeroGarden Harvest for gardeners who are embarrassingly bad at keeping their plants alive. Good thing this hydroponic system alerts you when it's time to water and feed your plants.
14. A collagen-coating hair treatment that's safe for all hair types and will revitalize a dry, damaged, and overprocessed mane overnight.
15. A tube of antiperspirant hand cream to dry your hands if you suffer from hyperhidrosis (excess sweating), or if you're just nervous!
16. A pack of AirPods cleaners if your earbuds are caked with a disgusting combination of earwax, lint, and. Squish the flexible square into your AirPod speaker, peel it off, and gasp in horror at the ear goop that's been dulling the sound quality.
17. A tonsil stone remover for treating the root cause of your bad breath. This tool has a built-in LED light so you can easily locate the tonsil stone. Plus it also comes with a syringe to help you wash out the pocket the tonsil stone left behind.
18. A tub of brightening, firming, and rejuvenating eye cream because you're tired of your mom constantly asking you, "Are you getting enough sleep?" on your weekly FaceTime even though she should darn well know that your dark circles are hereditary (thnx a lot Mom!).
19. A TubShroom if your relaxing showers have turned into you standing in a puddle of water for 15 minutes because the drain is clogged...again. This little guy snags the hair you shed before it can collect in the pipes.
20. A heavy-duty oven scrub so no one has to know about the years of baked-on dinner explosions and drippings that coat the inside of your oven.
21. A pack of gas-neutralizing pads that'll negate your partner's fetid flatulence. Each antimicrobial activated charcoal pad traps foul-smelling gas molecules so toxic toots are a thing of the past.
22. A pack of DressWeights because you're tired of having to hold down your dress and waddle like a penguin until the breeze dies down.
23. A hair finishing stick for cleaning up all those random strands that escape from ponytails and buns. It's basically like a mascara wand coated in natural plant oils for your hair. And it's so easy to use that no one will suspect that you, a full-grown adult, have no idea (literally zero) how to do you hair.
24. Or a double-sided edges brush to smooth and lay your edges (if you want to!). On one end is a boar bristle brush that gently massages your scalp and increases blood flow and hair growth. The other end is a mini comb to polish your look.
It goes without saying that you 100% do not need to lay your edges if you don't want to!
Promising review: "I didn't see the point in buying an edge control brush with a comb attachment. I figured I could just go to the dollar store and get a soft bristle toothbrush and call it a day. Boy was I wrong! I brought this product on a whim due to the price. I'm glad I did. I will be buying another one for my daughter. I especially love the comb attachment. It makes swooping the tiniest baby hairs a breeze. The brush is a bit hard for my taste but it's gentle enough not to grab and rip out hair." —Tina
Get it from Amazon for $2.49.
25. A natural shoe deodorizer spray so you don't have to wash your feet the minute you get home to get rid of the funk from your work flats. It's made with essential oils and smells like lemon and eucalyptus so you'll probably want to spray it around the rest of your house, too.
26. A pair of seamless brief undies if you're constantly battling annoying panty lines since all you wear these days are leggings.
27. An all-natural scour paste that'll clean just about every surface in your home — including all the hidden spots you've either been avoiding since you moved in or haven't even realized you need to clean. I'm looking at you, tops of the kitchen cabinets.
28. An antifungal tea tree balm for treating basically any somewhat embarrassing skin condition you can think of: athlete's foot, ringworm, jock itch, and even just dry skin.
29. And a box of wart-removing pads that you apply like bandages so you can be rid of your extra growth. Be gone, appendage!
30. A bottle of dentist-approved mouthwash for beating swamp breath, whether it's a caused by a medical issue or because you just drank coffee and orange juice. This one's made sans alcohol so it won't burn when you swish it around your mouth.
31. A teeth-whitening pen for brightening better than those irritating whitening strips that slip and slide all over your teeth. You can use each pen ~20 times and should expect your teeth to lighten four to eight shades.
32. A pack of Schick dermaplaning razors so you evict any unwanted stray hairs that have taken up residence on your face — and conquer your fears from accidentally shaving off half your eyebrow in middle school thanks to its precision cover. These itty bitty razors are great for stashing in your purse for touch-ups on the go.
33. A set of kegel weights to not only help with incontinence but also potentially make sex easier, less painful, and more enjoyable. These are especially great for people who've just given birth, though anyone can benefit from strengthening their pelvic floor muscles.
34. And a box of extra strength Gas-X chewables for when you know you should be avoiding dairy but your Friday night plans include mac 'n' cheese, nachos, and ice cream.
You know what's even *more* embarrassing? Not buying these products.
