1. "Another fucking leadership spill?"
2. "Thank God that's over."
3. "If I could, I'd probably take a helicopter to work instead of the train too."
4. "I'm only voting if there's a sausage sizzle."
5. "ANOTHER fucking leadership spill?"
6. "Oh. A new Prime Minister. That's novel."
7. "What do we do with all these onion jokes now?"
8. "Why can't Waleed just be PM?"
9. "BUYING A HOUSE IS NOT THAT FUCKING EASY, JOE."
10. "I'm a fix-ah."
11. "Cool that anyone can own a hoverboard now but marriage equality is too much to ask???"
12. "They can find water on Mars but Macca's can't flurry my McFlurries anymore???"
13. "DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT GAME OF THRONES I CAN'T WATCH THE LAST EPISODE UNTIL TONIGHT."
14. "How many fuckin' seasons of The Block are there?"
15. "And reality cooking shows?!"
16. "AND SINGING COMPETITIONS?!"
17. "Why are we trying to kill Johnny Depp's dogs?"
18. "How much more can you possibly put into a milkshake?!"
19. "IDK how I feel about the Melbourne Cup... it's pretty problematic."
20. "YEAH MELB CUP SHITFACED BEFORE 3PM ON A WORKDAY, RUN YOU MAGNIFICENT HORSES, RUN!"
21. "Bloody hell, The Matildas are deadset legends."
22. "This NRL grand final is stressing the fuck outta me."
23. "Johnathan Thurston's family are goals. 😍😍😍"
24. "Wait, the Arias are still a thing?"
26. "Farewell, sweet prince."
27. "I'm cunt-struck."
