1. A juice extractor that'll have you yelling "SAYONARA" to all the Tropicana no-pulps of the world.
2. A chair that's basically a giant "fuck you!" to mosquitos, black flies, hornets, and all the other bugs you want *nothing* to do with.
3. Bad-ass Ray Bans with green polarized lenses that'll protect your peepers *and* make you look like you have something juicy to hide.
4. A nifty heated hair brush that dries and styles your hair at once so you can get back precious minutes for Instagram scrolling.
5. A waterproof backpack for carrying everything but the kitchen sink (which, hopefully, you won't need while you're traveling).
6. A portable smoker to make your next camping trip a much more delicious affair.
7. A touchless vacuum cleaner that looks like it came from some futuristic space colony.
8. A limited-edition unicorn-themed makeup collection you probably thought only existed in your dreams UNTIL THIS MAGICAL MOMENT IN TIME.
9. Wear-with-everything perforated ankle boots with Dr Scholl’s cool-fit insoles so your feet won’t sweat like crazy.
10. An espresso maker that'll turn you into a barista overnight. One that knows how to spell a name.*
11. A wine rack to turn those bottles of vino into a work of modern art.
12. A plant stand (and pots) that'll hold three beautiful lil' leafy babies.
13. A box of MAC eye and lip classics for a bold, sultry look perfect for dancing away the night.
14. A waterproof (and shatterproof) phone case mermaids (or beach bums) will love.
15. A cozy AF faux-fur pillow for when you want the luxe feel without the luxe price tag.
16. A Levi’s trucker jacket you can wear ’til your dying day and then leave in your will for your descendants.
17. A kit including everything you need to grow a bounty of tomatoes this summer—you just need to add the plant.
18. A classy-ass cashmere travel set because sitting in coach doesn't mean you shouldn't feel glam AF.
19. A sleek midcentury coffee table for living your best Mad Men life.
20. An elegant AF air purifier. Who knew that elegant air purifiers even existed?
21. A spiralizer bundle that'll get you eating your vegetables faster than you can say "zucchini noodles."
22. A travel-friendly "Quench your Skin" kit that lets you sample a ton of holy-grail moisturizers and find ~the one~ that works best for your skin.
23. Every single episode of The Good Wife on DVD.
24. A leather canteen bag that'll make everyone else thirsty for your style.
25. A luxurious blanket to drape yourself in on a cold night.
26. A travel body pillow you can deflate when you aren't using it.
27. A stainless steel Cuisinar griddler that'll have you pressing those paninis in no time.
28. An enormous plush ladybug for anyone who wants to spend their refund on someone way too young to even know what taxes are.
29. A smart suitcase that'll charge your devices, weigh itself, give you real-time tracking capabilities, secure your things with a digital lock, and just generally be cool-as-fuck.
30. And an app-controlled Bluetooth speaker system with a built-in ✨party light✨ and microphone.
You celebrating your tax return =
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.