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1. An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good, a delightful book of short stories centering around an elderly lady who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when people die. A total coincidence!!!
2. A board game sure to make you and your friends die with laughter while playing... even if your score is rather ~grim~.
3. A BoneBox subscription that'll mail you a new set of skulls each month. Only a ~bonehead~ would skip out on this!
4. A steampunk mug and Death Wish coffee so you can have an appropriate pick-me-up the morning after a late night when you feel like death despite sleeping in.
5. A meat cleaver clutch that'll align with your killer looks.
6. Stiff, a book on the many uses of human cadavers sure to pique curious minds who hear the words "body farm" and don't mind learning just a bit more.
7. A serial killer coloring book which, unnervingly, has a surprising number of grandmothers inside — for those of us who like rather ~sketchy~ stress-reliving activities.
8. A *scarily* realistic bleeding hand candle to help scare the neighborhood kids out of ever treading on your lawn! Park it on your windowsill, light it, and enjoy the deathly silence.
9. A laser engraved spoon for an entertaining utensil at brunch, although it *might* make your partner have second thoughts about letting you spoon them ever again.
10. A suspiciously stunning hand-painted ouija board that'll delight those of us who love talking about death so much we wouldn't mind talking *to* it on occasion.
11. The Invention of Murder, a non-fiction tome chronicling how the Victorians also had COMPLETELY NORMAL fascinations with death, crime, murder, etc., — and how it led to so much of the pop culture we crave today that feeds even more into that grim interest.
12. Corpse-cleansing body wash made without the nasty stuff like sulfates because your ole bag of bones deserves something more than stuff that'll strip your mortal visage of its moisture.
13. A tarot card tapestry for giving your new home the doomsday decor you've always wanted but could never convince your roommates to embrace. Celebrate living alone in your own gleeful gloom!
14. A set of funny bathroom prints because sometimes you feel like you could spend an eternity in there, whether if it's while parked on the toilet or soaking away the stress of the day in a bubble bath.
15. And a skull toilet scrubber that's gonna show exactly how you feel about getting stuck with the ~crappiest~ chore in your apartment. If your roommates are making you clean the toilet, you're gonna make them look at your choice of bathroom decor every dang day!
16. Mothmeister, a coffee table book of haunted fairytales with photos featuring taxidermy art, Elizabethan fabric sculptures, nightmarishly stunning landscapes, and um, nightmares — for anyone who sees the beauty in critters that get a second (albeit, scarier) chance at "life".
17. A ghoulish tee that'll freak out anyone trying any funny business that deserves a death stare.
18. A deathly Burn Book pin to help you navigate your way through the social afterlife after your fallout with that fugly slut Regina George.
19. An obsidian ring with a rather unexpected shape — it's gonna be an accessory style coff-in fashion soon, we're certain.
20. A Shakespearean deaths card game so you can brush up on your knowledge of the Bard and his most memorable characters' (often untimely) deaths.
21. Anatomy Rocks, a coffee table book full of contemporary art for art enthusiasts who would love reading about death and anatomy organ and again and again.
22. A death's head moth print on textured hand-made paper you're gonna love showing off in your home if the constant thought of the grim reaper and creepy crawlies doesn't ~bug~ you one bit.
23. A mini backpack which, despite its size, is sure to easily hold all your favorite remains.
24. A splurge-y iridescent skull to break up all the doom and gloom in your home. Ish.
25. A Museum of Death T-shirt for eliciting all kinds of stares and questions. Yes, I went to the museum in New Orleans and yes, it was fantastic!
26. Glitzy flats that'll go perfectly with the mountains of black clothing in your closet. We all know it's such a happy color.
27. From Here to Eternity, a book on the world's funerary history written by a mortician/morbid scholar that'll get strangers' attention with the gorgeous cover. Just WAIT 'til they ask you what it's about. They're in for a treat!
28. And a tombstone pin you can whip out with enthusiasm whenever anyone tells you you should have a happier hobby.
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