Hello, my good friends of the interweb. It is I, Lauren, and today I'm playing detective. I've brought you here to talk about Taylor Swift and the Case of the Large Black Suitcase That She Was Possibly Hiding In. Let's begin.
If you know anything about anything, you'll be familiar with some of Taylor Swift's interesting "avoid the paparazzi" tactics. On occasion she walks backward.
And sometimes she walks sideways like a crab.
But has Taylor leveled up? Has she taken things to a place no one thought she could go? TBH prob not. I'm investigating anyway though.
You see, today, on July 17, 2017, some pictures were taken of a few of Taylor Swift's bodyguards carrying a big black suitcase.
The claim was that Taylor herself was INSIDE THE SUITCASE. Like, curled up like a piece of spaghetti inside the box, having her BGs carry her into her car just so she wouldn't be seen by anyone.
That's right, the theory is that Taylor has no bones and no fears of being locked up in an airless black box, and hides in this thing so that she can travel completely unnoticed. It made me wonder, so I went further back.
April 14, 2017: The same large black suitcase is seen being wheeled out of Taylor's building. At first its position was more vertical than horizontal.
But then another guy comes and the two men lift it off the ground and into the SUV. Their faces scream This is the exact weight of a 28-year-old pop star...or DOES IT?!?!?! Was Taylor in the box that day, or not?
Let's move on to May 5, 2017. The big black suitcase is seen once again being carried by two large men. AND it's nighttime. Suspicious, right?
Yes, maybe so, because just after ~the suitcase~ arrived, Gigi Hadid showed up at Taylor's apartment. If Taylor was in the apartment earlier, wouldn't people have seen her go in? Well, not if she went in in the suitcase!!!! These are the questions I ask myself!
HOWEVER! That same night her BGs brought in this very, very large box. More of a human-sized box, I'd say. So maybe we're looking in the wrong place this whole time? Maybe Taylor is actually in this box??
Nah, probably not, because let's rewind to when Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift were dating and Tom was seen coming out of an airport with this suitcase. The two were inseparable, so what reason would he have for using this very familiar-feeling suitcase other than having Taylor Swift be inside of it?!??!?!
While the evidence was pointing toward Taylor definitely being in the suitcase, other things were saying maybe not.
For example, in an interview, Ed Sheeran once said that Taylor Swift keeps her new music so secure that it gets delivered in a briefcase. It *could* be that Ed just forgot to mention the briefcase was fit for a person who is 14 feet tall.
Also, let's talk numbers. Taylor is 5'10".
While the box is large, I'm not sure if Taylor even folded herself in half like a piece of paper that she could fit in it.
Unless she's like one of those magic-show girls who does this trick!
Or this guy.
I MEANNNN, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
In conclusion: My investigation has no definitive answer.