Recently, singer and songwriter Naya Ford asked people on TikTok an important question: "What's something that people glamorize that's actually just extremely toxic?"
Known as @nayaaford on TikTok and @nayaaford on Instagram, Naya gave her own answer — which involved when people look for *this* quality in a romantic partner:
Here's her full response in the video: "When people say, 'I want a significant other [who] is rude and mean and not friendly to anybody.' Girl, no one's gonna cheat on you. It's okay."
Several other TikTokers started sharing things they think people glamorize that are actually toxic. Here are some of the most eye-opening responses:
1. YouTube couple pranks:
"YouTube couples who do pranks — they’re so obvious that they’re doing pranks, and they just get more and more extreme with...embarrassing each other on camera."
2. Disney movies:
"Snow White’s stepmother paid a hitman to kill her, and when he actually didn’t do it, then she went to go complete the job herself.
Cinderella’s stepmother was so shrouded in jealousy that she and her daughters enslaved Cinderella and tormented her on a daily basis, and her only option was to get married to get away from them.
Ariel was so enamored by human beings — despite the fact that they murdered her mother — that she went to a sea witch so she could fall in love with this man that she [just] saw..."
3. Diet culture:
"Diet culture and the idea that your value and morality is tied to how much you weigh."
4. Society's "obsession" with relationships:
"By no means am I saying that relationships are toxic, but what I am saying is that society and social media’s obsession with relationships — yeah, that’s not healthy at all. It’s as though everyone is more focused on the cute pictures, the matching outfits, and being able to say you have someone than actually accessing and considering ~who~ you have.
[Comedian] Daniel Sloss said it best...: It’s people out here trying to force things that shouldn’t be forced with one another because they would much rather have somebody than nothing at all. Like...there [are] really couples out here who don’t need to be together, should NOT be together, but they stay together because their cute couple pics go viral. And the obsession promotes the idea that being single is a flaw. It’s getting weird!"
5. The modeling industry:
"The modeling industry. I’m surprised to this day, it’s still glorified. It’s such a toxic industry, people get away with so [many] atrocious things in that industry because they have power and control over your work, your body, and so many other things that you renounced when you started your career as a model.
Like, they don’t prepare you to be objectified, sexualized, and preyed on by predators. Played by people you trust, told that you’re not good enough, [and] expected to be of a standard that you will never attain. Jeopardizing your self-worth and mental health at their expense for them to make money off you. It’s such a problematic industry that we need to stop glamorizing it...
Please don’t...be something you're not and let people (who don’t care about you) dictate what you should (or shouldn’t) be in this industry. If you start out, do you."
6. Being "obsessed" with your significant other:
"The idea that you guys need to be obsessed with each other when you’re in a relationship...Apparently we have to text each other every day — all day long — and if we don’t text back within a reasonable amount of time, or we don’t explain why we didn’t text back, then all of a sudden that means we’re not into you anymore. If you’re not texting each other, then you’re probably on FaceTime until your phone dies or on FaceTime until you fall asleep. And some people like to be on FaceTime while they’re asleep, which is kinda weird...
Basically dedicating all your time to your significant other — that’s kind of unhealthy. ‘Cause imagine you dedicated so much time and energy to a relationship that you had nothing else going on in your life. You’re gonna feel so broken if that relationship fails, because you got way too attached."
7. Romanticizing heartbreak:
"The way that we romanticize getting our heart broken and then forgiving and getting back together with the person who broke our heart. That dumb notion of ‘you always hurt the one you love’...If somebody cheats on you, lies to you, manipulates you, that is called emotional abuse. And there’s this media depiction that all it takes is the right grand gesture and then everything is resolved — it will never happen again, and you should forgive them. I’m not saying redemption isn’t possible because every situation is different, but that’s not romantic — that’s called work.
And if I have to watch one more gosh darn movie where we sympathize with the person who did the abuse, and we look to the person who was abused asking them to forgive them to suit our romantic narrative. ... It is not glamorous, it is not romantic; it is abuse, and we need to stop idolizing it."
8. "No new friends":
"This concept of ‘no new friends’ — we gotta cut that out. You close yourself off from meeting people [who] could become a better friend than the one that you have. ‘Cause that friend [is] probably toxic."
9. The broken men "can only be healed" by women trope:
"The idea that broken men can only be healed through the love and labor of a woman. This perpetuates the idea that men cannot find healing or support from anybody except for women — which means that they don’t seek it from their friends, they don’t seek therapy, they don’t have connections outside of their [female] partner to support them. This obviously puts a huge burden on women to care for men, heal them, rehabilitate them. That same energy is not given to women.
Also, if you want an example, I recommend looking at almost any movie targeted to teenage girls that is about a ‘bad boy’ (the pure, loving ‘good girl’ heals the wounds of the tortured ‘bad boy’ trope)."
11. Presenting a "perfect" marriage:
"The perfect marriage that you think you have, that you post all over social media. You’re trying to set some kind of standard that’s impossible. Marriage is hard; it’s not always fun. It takes patience and work and compromise. And if you have issues in your marriage, you’re not broken — you’re normal. Because no one in [any] marriage is perfect."
12. Vouching for friends — no matter what:
"Vouching for your friends no matter what, even when they’ve done something bad. Like, if my friend cheats on their partner, and they expect me to lie for them if their partner calls me and asks where they are, I’m not lying for you and your shitty behavior.
If your partner knows me well enough to have my phone number and ask where you are, why would I want to participate in lying to them? Obviously there are worse things, but it’s a no for me."
13. Taking people for granted:
"For me, it’s people who think that caring the least is cool and [that] it gives you an upper hand over people who care about you. That’s so toxic. If you value them and want them in your life, show up for them in your way — in the best way you can. But don’t treat people less than just because you know they care about you and they’ll be there for you. Don’t [take them for granted] because you think they’ll always be there, because one day you’ll wake up and they won’t be. And let’s care about people who care about us, and let’s show up for each other."
What's something toxic that you think people glamorize? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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