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I thought “break a leg” was because of Shakespeare and superstitions from Macbeth and some of his other plays? Or did I just live a lie for 30 years?

I hate when people don’t know what they want to eat, so they ask me. Then when they don’t like it, they don’t say anything. Then when the check comes they leave a passive aggressive note saying they didn’t like their food. I am not your mother. You are a stranger to me. I do not know… Read More

My mom taught me the best hack. If your partner complains about how you do everything, tell them to do It. I’ve never seen her wash a dish, the laundry, or cook my whole life.

I was walking to a bar in my neighborhood. A guy pulled up to me in his car and asked me if I needed a ride. I politely declined and he proceeded to follow me down the street while shouting “get in the fucking car!” He eventually sped up and turned down a street to block my path.… Read More

“Nothing lasts forever.” Sometimes things should last forever. Sometimes those things are out of your control and there’s no going back. Sometimes you have to realize the consequences before you really act and decide something, because you can’t always go back and change your mind.… Read More

This was during the “polar vortex” or whatever. I live in Detroit. I was running late to work. It was a day after snow had melted and then frozen crazy fast over night. I first had to unfreeze my car door. Then realized It didn’t matter cuz my car was frozen to the street cuz I parked… Read More

When the potato guy was the mascot for Burger King fries when they were the supreme fry in the game.

Breaking plans last minute when you Damn well know you had all day to give me a heads up.

Adults can create some shitty art sometimes...

Is the concerning thing in #11 the amount of empty alcohol bottles that are on top of the cabinets used for decoration like 4 Frat guys that live together? Yet a “child” was the one to open everything?