23 Teen Drama Characters And How Likely They Would Be To Survive The Chaos At Euphoria High

The kids at Euphoria High better get ready for the epic highs and lows of high school football.

If you watch Euphoria, you know these kids have a pretty wild high school experience...to say the least.

ً @MEGTHEEDAYA

the lack of a backpack is sending like baby… you got an english paper due NEXT BLOCK!!!

08:08 PM - 03 Jan 2022

Twitter: @MEGTHEEDAYA

As a Teen Drama Fanatic™, I found myself wondering recently: What would characters from other teen shows look like in the Euphoria universe?

Paramount Pictures

Who would thrive at Euphoria High? Who wouldn't last a day? Who would truly be able to end Nate Jacobs?!

Lakan @jacques_lakan

Put her in Euphoria high and she’ll end Nate Jacobs

11:11 AM - 27 Jan 2022

Twitter: @jacques_lakan

For the record, I 100% believe Carla Rosón could take down the entire Jacobs family.

So I decided to imagine what I think 23 teen drama characters would look like on Euphoria and grade them on a scale of 1–10 on how well I think they would fit in. Without further ado, here are my hot takes:

Warning: Spoilers ahead!!!

1. Manny Santos from Degrassi: The Next Generation.

CTV

Let's start with someone who would obviously own the halls at Euphoria High: the OG icon herself, Manuella Santos. She wouldn't even need to TRY to fit in. Put her in that school for one day and she'd have everyone walking down the hallway in a bejeweled blue thong and matching eyeshadow by the time the first bell rang. She and Maddy would either be besties or hate each other — maybe a bit of both.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 1,000

2. Lucas Scott from One Tree Hill.

Warner Bros / Courtesy Everett Collection

Is basketball even a thing at Euphoria High? Whatever. He'd probably date Maddy, then decide he actually loves Cassie, then go back to Maddy, then be shocked when it all blows up in his face. He'd probably be relatively popular, but I also feel like he'd bring the mood down at parties with all his brooding and weird literary references. Like, dude, we just asked you to pick up a case of beer, not recite Charles Bukowski.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7

3. Archie Andrews from Riverdale.

Jack Rowand / Everett Collection / Everett Collection

God help us all. He'd probably hang with McKay and some of the other jocks, but then they'd all collectively vote to kick him off the team after he told everyone they don't understand the epic highs and lows of high school football. He might be able to get back into everyone's good graces by telling them where to get Jingle Jangle, though.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 4.5

4. Jughead Jones from Riverdale.

The CW

You know, I wanted to say he'd get ridiculed for his whole "I'm weird, I'm a weirdo" attitude, but I actually think he miiiight do okay at Euphoria High. Mostly because of his ties to the Southside Serpents, and the fact that he probably wouldn't care enough to go to any parties or get into anyone's business. He might have to ditch the beanie, though.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 6

5. Lu Montesinos from Elite.

Netflix

If there was ever a non-Euphoria character who was meant to be a Euphoria character, it's 100% Lu. Her fabulous outfits and makeup alone would make her a total catch at this school, but the real reason she would fit right in is her ability to be messy as hell. She would call out everything and everyone on their BS, while having tons of scandals of her own. I feel like she'd fit right in with Maddy and Cassie.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 10

6. Polo Benavent from Elite.

Netflix

Oh god. Okay, so first of all, I feel like he'd definitely have some weird sexual thing going with Nate (although part of me likes to think Polo is too good for him — even if he is a murderer). He'd have a threesome with some random couple in the hot tub at Maddy's birthday party, and he'd probably end up hitting Nate in the head with a bottle of champagne or something.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 9

7. Miles Hollingsworth from Degrassi: Next Class.

Netflix

He would charm all the girls and guys at Euphoria High with that devilish smile and those irresistible salmon pants. He'd probably start off hanging with Elliot, Rue, and Jules and buying drugs from Fez. Once he got clean, though, he would spend his time writing semi-autobiographical plays with Lex. He would host a few big parties here and there at the Hollingsworth mansion, even though he only has like two actual friends at that school.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8

8. Lola Pacini from Degrassi: Next Class.

Netflix

Lola, my beloved! My girl would have the best makeup looks in the school and do everyone's eyeshadow for them for free when they're supposed to be in geometry class. She'd probably have a couple of minor scandals, like maybe hooking up with someone else's boyfriend at a party once, but for the most part, she'd be pretty drama-free. I feel like she would be good friends with Lex, and she'd get along well with Cassie and Maddy.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8

9. Marissa Cooper from The O.C.

Warner Bros. / Everett Collection

I honestly feel that Marissa and her drama would be perfect for Euphoria, even though she would probably find herself getting in a lot of trouble. She gives me strong Cassie vibes with a hint of Rue. She'd have a couple of sketchy relationships, throw up in Maddy's hot tub, and end up in the hospital after a night of partying gone too far. I'm not sure why exactly, but I could see her having flings with both Fez and Jules.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 9

10. Eric Effiong from Sex Education.

Netflix / Courtesy Everett Collection

.Eric would undoubtedly be the comic relief we desperately need at this school. He'd audition for Oklahoma!, then decide he actually liked Lexi's version better. Nate would try to bully him, but Eric would team up with Rue and Jules and shut him down real fast. He'd probably hook up with Elliot at least once.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7.5

11. Max Baker from Ginny & Georgia.

Sophie Giraud / Netflix / Courtesy Everett Collection

Oh, my Max. She would probably have a hardcore crush on Jules but have absolutely no idea how to make a move. She would try to make Kat, Maddy, and Cassie come up with a cute friend group acronym like "MANG," but the rest of them would think it's dumb. She would take too many shots at Maddy's birthday party, profess her love for Jules, and then puke in the hot tub.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7

12. Marcus Baker from Ginny & Georgia.

Netflix

I honestly think Marcus would be justttt moody and mysterious enough to fit in with the Euphoria crowd. He would hate parties but go to them occasionally and have deep talks about life with Fez over a blunt on the couch. I could see him being good friends with Ethan and maybe Elliot. He'd have a brief thing with Kat and climb through her window a couple of times, then end up hooking up with Cassie because she's drawn to his motorcycle and hair.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7.5

13. Sterling and Blair Wesley from Teenage Bounty Hunters.

Netflix / Courtesy Everett Collection

If there's anyone we could count on to bring Nate down, it's this sisterly duo. They'd earn Nate's trust somehow, then get him and his dad when they least suspect it and bring them in to Bowser's custody. The only thing I'm worried about is how much of a culture shock Euphoria High would be for them. They'd probably have to go to the private school across the street or something.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 5

14. Mona Vanderwaal from Pretty Little Liars.

Eric Mccandless / Disney General Entertainment Content / Getty Images

Forget ending Nate — Mona would absolutely obliterate his entire existence. She'd probably struggle to fit in at Euphoria High at first, but once she came back with that pre–Season 1 makeover, she'd rule the school with her iconic looks and ruthless attitude.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8

15. Alison DiLaurentis from Pretty Little Liars.

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I'm getting chills just thinking about this. She'd probably be "friends" with Maddy's clique, but see herself more as their leader and try to tell them the exact outfits and shades of eyeshadow they need to wear every day of the week. Eventually, she'd piss off Fez, Cal, Rue, Jules, Maddy, and the entire rest of the town (even Ali) and mysteriously disappear. She would, however, manage to make Nate cry at least once.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7

16. Mike Chang from Glee.

Fox

Look, don't ask me why — I just feel like it would be so fun to drop Mike into the Euphoria universe. Everyone at school would be having major crises and scandals and Mike would just...vibe. He literally just dances and minds his business.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 6

17. Rachel Berry from Glee.

20th Cent Fox / Courtesy Everett Collection

My god, could you imagine Rachel trying to survive Euphoria High? She would try out for Oklahoma!, and if she didn't get the lead, she would simply send whoever did over to Fez's house and frame them for buying drugs. If she ever managed to get invited to a party, she'd bring two wine coolers and just sip on those for the night. She'd also walk through the halls belting out show tunes in her cat sweaters, and she'd usually piss Maddy off before the first bell even rang.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 4

18. Justin Foley from 13 Reasons Why.

Netflix

As strange as it sounds, I actually feel like Justin might have a better shot at a happy ending in the Euphoria world. Sure, there would be a lot of potential bad influences, but he'd also have a chance to be surrounded by people who know exactly what he's been through. I'd like to think Ali would mentor him — heck, maybe Justin, Rue, and Ali could even have their own little support group. 

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8

19. Olivia Baker from All American.

The CW

I actually feel that Olivia — similarly to Justin above — would do okay at Euphoria High. I feel like she would probably be good friends with Rue and party with her for a bit at first. Once she realized she needed to get her life back on track, however — heck, maybe Fez even cut her supply off — she'd turn to Ali for guidance and form a strong bond with him. Maybe she'd date McKay, seeing as she has a thing for football players.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8.5

20. Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl.

CW Network / Courtesy Everett Collection

Just IMAGINE. Dan would be exposing everyone's dirt left and right. He'd probably somehow know about Cassie and Nate before they even hooked up, and he'd immediately blast the scandal to everyone. Nobody would be able to get away with anything under Gossip Girl's watch. You know what? As much as he sucks...maybe Dan is actually precisely the man we need to bring the Jacobs family down. Would he even last long enough at this school, though?

Euphoria-worthy rate: 6

21. Serena van der Woodsen from Gossip Girl.

CW Network / Courtesy Everett Collection

So I'm kind of torn on how Serena would fare in the Euphoria universe. On the one hand, I feel like she would still be popular because she's gorgeous and rich and blah blah — but would she still be the It girl in this world? I feel like she would ruin literally every single party she went to and then not understand why everyone was pissed at her the next day. She'd also definitely hook up with her BFF's boyfriend in the bathroom at a party and hide in the bathtub afterward.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7

22. Brandon Walsh from Beverly Hills, 90210.

Fox

This one is just amusing to me. Imagine someone pulled out a joint and Brandon immediately launched into a sermon about how morally conflicted he feels about weed. He would probably do well with the girls at Euphoria High, but you could never tell him any secrets because he would always go home and tell his parents absolutely everything.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 3

23. And finally, Josie Saltzman from Legacies.

The CW

Truthfully, I have no idea how any of the Vampire Diaries universe characters would fare in the Euphoria world. I just really, really want to see Dark Josie take Nate OUT. Also, she'd probably date Jules (at least until Hope Mikaelson transferred to Euphoria High).

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8

What other TV characters do you think would fit right in at Euphoria High? Tell us in the comments!