Justplainmo

I was in labor for 36 hours and I was unallowed to eat the entire time. After hour 30, epidural in place, I was ready for a nap so I told my husband to go get himself some food while I rested. About half an hour later I was awoken by the smell of Burger King absolutely filling my… Read More

Oh my good god. My daughter spells everything "D-R-Y" and we were always perplexed as to why she picked those letters. I think you finally just explained it. She misheard T-O-Y. You've solved a year long mystery, kind stranger.

When my daughter was about 2 she had a favorite shirt, it had a little frog on it. She loved to tell everyone about her frog shirt. Unfortunately she instead told everyone about her favorite "fuck shit."

My dad and I love cooking together, but rarely (never) bake. But we had some blueberries that needed to get used, so we decided to venture out of Our comfort zones and make a blueberry galette for desert. The top is what it was supposed to look like. It tastes like blueberry cream… Read More

On my 21st birthday I was lamenting to a friend that all of the drinks my friends were buying me tasted like sugar, and he looked like a lightbulb went off. He turned to the bartender and bought me a Pickleback (I guess it's also called a barfight?) But It was a shot of whiskey with… Read More

Those tiny grapes like the one in #8 used to be my favorite part of lunch until a bitch in second grade named Stephanie told me that tiny spiders lived in them so I stopped eating them because I didn't want to hurt the tiny spiders and instead I just left them all in my lunchbox in… Read More

My three year old loves pomemon but she still pronounces things like a toddler, so I just renamed my pokemon whatever she pronounced their names as. That's how I got gems like bubblesaur and strawmander.

My favourite was when I broke up with my girlfriend and started dating a guy and my parents patted themselves on the back and started telling everyone "no she's with a guy now, we always knew it was just a phase."

That faint sound you hear coming from the horizon is Alton Brown weepeing.

So many people are hating on the egg yolk one but damn that was some good shit.