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    • jessicaf22

      I am someone who wants children, and the opinions of others does not effect my choice. That is between my fiancé and I.  As someone who is planning on having a child within the next five years, I am fully aware of the costs of raising a child based off of HOW we want to raise our child, (Montessori schooling, a nanny to pick them up after school and stay with them until we get home from work, and so on). Yes, those options are more expensive, but we also know that in our chosen fields, we will be able to afford such things. Having a child is a major priority of mine, so I have made sure to plan my career and earnings around it. In other words, if having a child is a priority to someone, than no numbers or comments can convince them otherwise, as they already know where they stand and what their plan is to accommodate that.  If having a child is not a priority to someone, then obviously they would not want to deal with the expenses that come with raising them. Neither choice is wrong.

    • jessicaf22

      Yes, the numbers seem daunting. However, that is over the course of 17 years, not all at once. Anything seems super expensive if you add up the totals over a large amount of time. This is like me saying “My cat costs me $20,175.” And yes, he does, when it is all added up: Cat Food: $25 per week (he’s on a special diet due to a history with UTIs) Litter: $10 per month Vet Bills: Approx $250 per year A ‘long’ life for a cat is around 15 years. If you add up that total over 15 years, than it equals $20,175. That makes it sound like that only wealthy people can afford a pet.  Both my fiancé and I are in grad school and working low paying jobs at the moment, yet, we have never had any issue paying for our cat. This is because these payments are spaced out enough that we earn more money before we have to pay for the next thing. The same goes for children. Yes, you pay for them, but you adjust your budgets accordingly. Be it a pet or a child you’re paying for, this budgeting becomes second nature to you when they are your own. It is not as much of a wallet drain as you may fear.

    • jessicaf22

      As a rather sheltered and pampered teen in the late 90’s - early 2000’s, I believed: 1.) That everything would just be handed to me. I’d go to college, meet my future husband there, get married straight out of college, have my first child AND dream career by 25. 2.) That if that boy didn’t like me back, it meant that I was ugly, fat, and weird. 3.) That I was fat. (I was a size 4!) 4.) That the things that other teens made fun of me for were true. 5.) That there was something wrong with me because I preferred writing stories, reading, and studying mythology instead of partying. 6.) That 30 was old. I just turned 33 at the end of October. I live in Brooklyn with my amazing fiancé, have a wonderful group of friends, and am earning my Master’s in Psychology. It is not at all what I thought as a teen, but I have a wonderful life. All those things I believed as a teen do not matter now.

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