This "Jailhouse Rock" Clip From "Riverdale" Is The Most Bonkers Thing I've Seen On A Show That Had Levitating Babies Last Week

    I AM SPEECHLESS.

    Last week on Riverdale, a Gargoyle King was introduced, Polly and Alice joined a cult and threw Juniper and Dagwood into a fire (which made them levitate), Archie pled guilty for murder, Betty was named the "Serpent Queen," Penny Peabody kidnapped Hot Dog, and Toni Topaz was still not named the main character of the show.........and yet, this clip of the River Vixens performing "Jailhouse Rock" at Archie's juvie is the WILDEST Riverdale clip I've ever seen:

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    AHHHHHHHHH.

    WHAT FORKIN' YEAR IS THIS???

    WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????

    This extra from The Shawshank Redemption IS JUST AS CONFUSED AS I AM.

    AND SO IS HE!!!!

    Oh goodie, more fence shaking!!!!

    *we are manly men who shake fences when hot girls sing Elvis songs and then we burst into spontaneous football as men do!!!!*

    The show is clearly still going on, why are they playing football??????

    I mean, listen, the ladies killed it (of course). But Cassidy Bullock did not die so that Archie could shake fences!!!!! THE END.