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BuzzFeed Staff

TVAndMovies

Did This Happen On "Riverdale" This Week Or Did I Make It Up?

Did This Happen On &quot;Riverdale&quot; This Week Or Did I Make It Up?

He did no such thing!

Archie fired his mom as his lawyer because he realized how bad it looks to have your mom as your lawyer.

Yes, Betty became the "Serpent Queen" but I made up the rest of that. This is demonstrably false because the other two Pussycats apparently no longer exist?

After Betty was named Serpent Queen, Josie and the Pussycats sang a cover version of "Dancing Queen" but sang the words "Serpent Queen, young and sweet and so serpentiiiiine."

FUCKIN' ARCHIE, MAN. He also went away for the secondary crime of wearing a bowtie to court.

Archie decided to plead guilty for a murder he didn't commit, even though Betty and his mom literally worked on his case for an entire summer.

Chic is still MIA, but probably not dead?

Chic returned as a zombie, and vowed to get his revenge on the Cooper family.

Nah, he got those bad boys all by himself!

Archie tracked down Sabrina and asked her to give him even more abs, and she did!!!

AND IT WAS ALL WORTH IT TO SAVE THAT GOOD BOY.

Hot Dog ignited a new gang war.

Lol, nahhhh.

We learn Reggie is actually a cyborg prototype from Lodge Industries for security purposes — more specifically a "Robotically Enhanced Guard" — **R.E.G.** for short. This also explains why his entire appearance changed between Seasons 1 and 2.

She did, however, become a full-time archer.

Stephen Amell guest-starred as Oliver Queen from _Arrow_, and Cheryl was like "Ew, wrong comic book!" and shot him with an arrow.

True, but I honestly still feel like I had to have made this up!!!!

Polly and Alice threw Juniper and Dagwood into a fire and they levitated and then Betty had a seizure.

Guys, I'm so tired.

There's a Gargoyle King who is apparently sacrificing the youths of Riverdale.

Lol, okay I'm done playin'. See you next week!

The Serpent King and the Gargoyle King played a sick game of the card game Kings.

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Did This Happen On "Riverdale" This Week Or Did I Make It Up?

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