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"Forget about college, sex, and the serial killer genes!"
But also, I didn't even know the River Vixens still existed????? Like, when is the last time Cheryl even mentioned them before this episode?
More of Cheryl Bombshell, less of Cheryl Hangs-With-Corpses.
Which is the most ridiculous thing on this show since serial killer genes, but WHATEVER. Basically, Cheryl thinks she might be a Chimera (aka have the genes of both herself and Julian) but she takes the DNA test and learns by the end of the episode that, in fact, she never absorbed her brother's fetus in the womb. So, um, everything leading up until now has been a lie and was resolved in two seconds.
Mrs. Burble also convinces her that maybe the doll isn't the ghost of her dead fetus brother, but someone is gaslighting her. Honestly, this woman is the sanest person to ever step foot in this goddamn town.
I just wanted to hug her.
The fact that she ever thought she was getting in on her own is, frankly, insane. When has Veronica ever done one bit of homework? Her biggest extracurricular is running a Speakeasy that's underneath Pop's.
The Hiram/Veronica dynamic is so exhausting and I simply don't have the energy to care.
In just a little bit of time at Stonewall, Jughead has managed to turn into the most pretentious little shit of all time and name drops Holden Caulfield and that one "Tilting at windmills" quote from Don Quixote. *goes to prep school once*
Also when Jughead says he's been selfish, Mrs. Burble says, "No. You're just a high school senior from Riverdale. You're busy." and I lol'ed.
Even I must admit Veronica opening and casually drinking HiRUM's most prized bottle of rum was a badass move.
Charles. W. Chickens!!!!! LOL, I'm dead.
Next week on Riverdale…lmao.