1. Am I crazy for wanting to rewatch this? Probably.
2. I wonder if Charles will be in this episode???
3. I forgot they opened with THE NIGHT Ali went missing. This is actually quite a scary opening scene.
4. Random Beyonce reference to show they're ~hip~.
5. Alison really is such a bitch.
6. Why are any of them friends with her for real.
7. Spencer is all "Ali's gone" and it's weird knowing now that she was high AF and would have just had that massive fight with Ali.
8. First shot of Aria is her staring in a mirror. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!
9. The Montgomery family has been away for a year, and Ali has been missing for a year. So Aria's family just left town straight after Alison disappeared? That seems… odd.
10. OMG Mike was such a BABY in this episode.
11. Oh, this was when the Montgomerys were a happy family. "Happy".
12. Why did it take Aria 45 minutes to get to the bar?
13. Like, what was she doing between dropping Mike off and getting to the bar?! This is very suspicious.
14. Or the creators just screwed up the clocks and it actually has no significance.
15. Meanwhile, what kind of bar serves someone who is clearly a teenager?
16. Oooh here comes Ezra. NGL I ship this version of Ezria a lot.
17. PITY HE WAS THERE TO STALK THE FUCK OUTTA HER AND KNOWS SHE'S 16 YEARS OLD.
18. EZRA YOU CREEP.
19. SMH at this whole scene.
20. "I'd like to know more about you", like all about your missing friend Alison.
21. They totally banged, even though they later tried to pretend they didn't; like why would they go to the privacy of the bathroom to just make out?
22. And then why would Ezra freak out SO MUCH?
23. But then he was faking that too. Because he KNEW she was gonna be at that school.
24. Ugh this is so gross when you know the real situation.
25. Wait is Ezra Charles??!?!
26. Hanna's hair is on point.
27. I love "bad girl" Hanna.
28. She even has her own theme tune happening.
29. Oh but her and Spencer are so distant this is making me emotional.
30. HEY baby Mona or should I say BABY A.
31. They all look so happy and stress-free. SOB.
32. Emily "I hear our new English teacher is really hot", looool guuurl like you care.
33. Oooh Aria got the first A message. Significant??
34. Wait it just means Mona hated her the most right?
35. But how did Mona know Aria made out with Fitz in the bathroom?
36. She was at the mall with Hanna?!
37. Hey Emily's mum, I forgot you existed.
38. "That kind of lifestyle might fly in Europe, but not in Rosewood." She's talking about being GOTH.
39. Poor Emily this is bad foreshadowing for her budding sexuality.
40. Huh, I forgot she had a boyfriend at this point. It was like a whole thing.
41. OHHH MAYA. Bianca Lawson's eternal youth never ceases to amaze me.
42. Melissa is such a bitch.
43. Melissa are you A?
44. Wren is shady in hindsight.
45. Wren are you A?
46. Spencer used to be so much… weaker.
47. AND CAREFREE. :(
48. OMG Spencer and Wren are eye fucking.
49. I kind of love it.
50. No wonder Melissa hates her tbh, she is flirting so hard with HER SISTER'S FIANCÉ.
51. But Wren is seriously the worst fiancé.
52. "You're not like Melissa's other boyfriends… I actually like you, that's what unusual" o rly Spencer I heard you liked IAN.
53. Ezra is trying to push Aria away. He is faking this too.
54. LIES EZRA LIES.
56. Aria is like aggressively pursuing her English teacher though.
57. First sighting of Pigtunia, Aria's pig puppet. SIGNIFICANT??!?!
58. Is Aria A, for real?
59. IS ARIA CHARLES?
60. OK they're just getting rid of all of Alison's stuff, surely her family wants it?
61. THERE COULD BE SO MANY CLUES IN ALL THAT STUFF.
62. Also how does Ali's mother set up a freakin' SHRINE to Ali in the later seasons if they just tossed all her shit out like that?
63. Such an awkward kiss between Emily and Maya.
64. OMG WHAT IF MAYA IS NOT REALLY DEAD WHAT IF MAYA IS A???
65. Everyone on this show has such great hair.
66. Wren is giving Spencer a massage. He is so thirsty.
67. WREN THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR WITH YOUR FIANCEÉ'S SISTER.
68. But also GET IT Spencer.
69. He would have had such a boner when Spencer walked out and Melissa walked in, having no idea he was just massaging her sister.
70. Real talk why are all the love interests in this show creepy AF?
71. Ohhh Spencer got her first A message about stealing Melissa's boyfriends.
72. How did Mona know the massage happened??
73. Oh hi DIFFERENT IAN.
74. I think I like this Ian better.
75. LOL at Hanna being the "fat" one they have literally just put skinny Ashley Benson in a baggy top.
76. Oh Emily got her first note from A.
77. How did Mona know Emily kissed Maya?
78. Has Mona set up surveillance everywhere at this point? Seriously how is she seeing all this?
79. Also can we talk about how A is just sending cute little notes instead of, I don't know, RUNNING THEM DOWN WITH CARS like she does later.
80. And by A I mean Mona.
81. Real talk how did these girls just forgive her for that? Like they didn't totally but they kinda sorta mostly did??
82. LOL at Ashley Marin's bangs/fringe. She looks so different now.
83. Hanna is the only one to have no message from A yet. Interesting.
84. Wilden arresting Hanna over stealing one pair of sunglasses seems excessive.
85. He is enjoying putting those cuffs on Hanna a little too much.
86. Oop there is Hanna's first A message. About prison food.
87. MonA that is way harsh.
88. Ashley is lecturing Hanna over shoplifting because people will judge her, not because stealing is bad.
89. "In a small town like this, what people think of you matters." If the town is so small and everyone notices everything WHY DID NO ONE NOTICE THESE GIRLS BEING TORTURED FOR YEARS.
90. Also there have been way too many murders for a "small town" like this.
91. But no one is like "what the hell is up with Rosewood, yo?!" or "Maybe we should send some NOT SHIT COPS to this town."
92. "I buy you everything you need to be popular." More stellar parenting from Ashley Marin.
93. Oooh "Ali's" body has been found. AKA HEY BETHANY I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU FIT IN STILL BUT RIP.
94. But why don't they just use DNA to see whose body it is?
95. It would have saved us so much trouble.
96. Or even just do a dental record check or something? Like body identification in the modern era is really not that hard.
97. THE JENNA THING.
98. I miss the days when the hardest thing to work out was "The Jenna Thing."
99. OMG is Jenna Charles?
100. ASHLEY IS NOW HARDCORE MAKING OUT WITH WILDEN WHILE HANNA WATCHES IN THE OTHER ROOM.
101. Ashley why didn't you CHECK to see if your daughter was home before you started dry humping the detective in the hallway.
102. OH WAIT NOW YOU'RE LOOKING RIGHT AT HER.
103. Oh God you wanted her to see.
104. This is so fucked up.
105. GREAT MOTHERING SKILLS THERE.
106. That kiss was kinda hot tho???
107. This also seems excessive over a pair of stolen sunglasses.
108. Ali's funeral, the first of many funerals for people who aren't actually dead.
109. And the first in a long line of inappropriate funeral attire from the Liars.
110. But the last time any parents escort these kids to a funeral.
111. Actually the last time this many parents are in one episode.
112. Did they blow all their parent budget in the pilot?
113. Severe lack of Olivia Benson in this episode though.
114. Aria tries to leave Ezra and he's like NO WAIT YOU'RE MY LEAD TO ALISON AND MY BOOK DEAL I'MA KISS YOU NOW
115. Poor Aria. She is being PLAYED.
116. This whole thing is less OK than ever with hindsight.
117. Oh hey different Mrs Dilaurentis.
118. Is she Charles' mother?
119. Is she Charles?
120. At this point she knows Alison isn't dead right? Or does she? I can't remember anything oh God.
121. Ali would not be happy with this funeral. Nowhere near glam enough.
122. Ohh they're talking about A together for the first time.
123. TELL YOUR PARENTS. TELL YOUR PARENTS NOW.
124. Why isn't CeCe Drake at "Ali's" funeral?
125. Oh hey different Toby!
126. Wow so many actors were recast from the pilot.
127. THEY'RE ALL TWINS.
128. THEY'RE ALL CHARLES.
129. "I will get to the bottom of this." Wilden you should be saying that as a comfort to this bunch of mourning teenagers, not a threat.
130. Wilden, the first dud cop in a long line of terrible police in Rosewood.
131. Was he part of the A team? I can't even remember.
132. He's definitely dodgy either way.
133. "I'm still here, bitches. -A." So these girls actually thought Ali might be messaging them from the grave or nah?
134. The show could have ended at this point if they had just said to someone "Hey, we're all getting messages from a creepy stranger."
135. PSA KIDS IF THIS HAPPENS IRL REPORT IT.
136. I bet these girls look back in hindsight and think "wow, The Jenna Thing that we promised to never tell the police about may have gotten us some community service but instead now our WHOLE LIVES ARE RUINED."
137. This is why you can't have secrets.