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My Boyfriend Dressed Himself For A Week And It Went Horribly

Welp.

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Hey there, I'm Jen. My personal style can be described as "all my clothes are dirty so I'm dressed like a ’90s mom about to pick the kids up from soccer practice, who wants an ice cream sandwich?"

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Over the past few months, my colleagues at BuzzFeed have asked their significant others, best friends, parents, brothers, sisters, and children to choose their outfits for a week, so I thought to my lazy self, How can I do something like this without actually doing anything?

And then it hit me: I could document my boyfriend’s outfits for a week and not tell him why! Done. Easy.

• Andrew had to dress himself every day like he usually does.

• Andrew couldn't know about the experiment.

• A BuzzFeed photographer would come to our home and snap a photo of Andrew's outfits for seven days.

• I couldn't tell Andrew why, no matter how confused he became.

Taylor Miller / BuzzFeed

Jen's thoughts on Monday: My photographer friend, Taylor, came over to take Andrew's photo right after we finished breakfast. Lucky for us, Andrew had already gotten dressed for the day. He chose a checkered shirt with dark jeans. I love this outfit!

Andrew's thoughts on Monday: Jen told me to type something here about the photo above. She said "it's for work," then made finger guns and winked. All I remember is that I was washing dishes and looked up to see someone pointing a camera at me. I asked what he was doing and Jen shooed him out of our apartment.

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Taylor Miller / BuzzFeed

Jen's thoughts on Tuesday: Ah, the classic white button-down! I love pretty much everything Andrew wears, so it's super easy to comment on these outfits. A+, great job, keep up the good work.

Andrew's thoughts on Tuesday: Again. "Write something about the photo." What is this? I was brushing my teeth. Heard the shower curtain pulled to the side and the flicker of a camera shutter. Same guy, pointing his camera at me. I bent over to spit out the toothpaste and when I stood up he was gone.

Taylor Miller / BuzzFeed

Jen's thoughts on Wednesday: Navy blue polo and gray pants? I'm into it! If you're wondering, I had to be in this photo to reassure Taylor, the photographer, that he's allowed in our apartment, because Andrew was getting mad.

Andrew's thoughts on Wednesday: Okay, it's getting weirder. The same guy has been here every day. Doesn't really say anything. Just snaps photos. I asked them both what this is for. Jen and the photographer simply moved their eyebrows up and down suggestively at me.

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Taylor Miller / BuzzFeed

Jen's thoughts on Thursday: I gave Taylor a key to our apartment so he could get this full-body shot of Andrew on our way home on Thursday. Great job, Taylor! Here we have some navy shorts paired with a Grateful Dead shirt that Andrew bought at a concert last month. A great outfit for a bike ride.

Andrew's thoughts on Thursday: Jen thinks I'm writing about the photo but I'm actually googling "privacy laws" and "affordable locksmiths in NYC."

Taylor Miller / BuzzFeed

Jen's thoughts on Friday: Andrew spent Friday repeating his outfit from Monday. Taylor even caught him pulling the checkered button-down out of the hamper. It's still a great outfit, and I probably wouldn't have even noticed if not for this experiment. I'm learning a lot about Andrew, and I feel like it's bringing us closer together.

Andrew's thoughts on Friday: I just scrolled up even though Jen told me not to. Closer togeth— what? No. This is insane. I think I finally need to put a stop to this.

Taylor Miller / BuzzFeed

Jen's thoughts on Saturday: Lurve this lopook! I widsh he'd wear thiss shirt more oftem, is a greaat one!!1!

Andrew's thoughts on Saturday: I tried to talk to Jen, but she kept responding to everything I said by taking a shot of tequila and going "'Eyyyyyyyy!" like Fonzi. Eventually I had to leave the room. I think this is the last straw.

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Taylor Miller / BuzzFeed

Jen's thoughts on Sunday: When Taylor told me he "got Andrew on the way out," I thought he meant "out of the apartment," not "out of my life with all of his clothes in a suitcase." I've always been a big fan of that gray hoodie and I'll miss it a lot. Check out that pop of color in the pocket!

Andrew's thoughts on Sunday: This is still Jen typing. Andrew hasn't come home yet, but I did find a note scribbled on the back of a private detective's business card: "Going to crash on my friend's couch for a little while. I've got some thinking to do."

Jen's final thoughts: What I've learned from this experiment? It's pretty easy to get dressed if you're a man with some great wardrobe staples, and even easier to pack them all up to move out.

Andrew's final thoughts: If Andrew were here, I'm sure he'd say he learned a lot from this experiment, and that when it comes to his personal style, he normally sticks to blues, whites, grays, and T-shirts you can buy in concert parking lots.

Please share this post so my boyfriend will come back.

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