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5 is me. I teach seventh grade English and come to work some mornings like, “I didn’t grade shit last night. I was playing Genshin.”

Number 10 is scary. I think of my depression as a dark, empty room with no doors, and my suicidal ideation as a window. It’s one thing to repeatedly glance out the window or stare longingly through it. It’s another thing to decide to open it. I remember feeling a flood of relief when… Read More

My younger sister actually ran to the house phone and dialed 9-1-1 over #20.

It’s not really a film about autism. Music isn’t the protagonist, she’s a catalyst for other characters’ growth. And the takedowns and restraints aren’t just dangerous; they’re stupid. Kids grow up. You think you can do that shit when the kid’s big as you? I’ve worked w students a… Read More

Dude, none of these answers are honest enough. Tell Max and Emily to stfu. Um, Lou, it’s 2020, you never seen ripped jeans before? Not dating because I’m ace af. Ang your casserole tastes like shit.

I wasn’t old enough to see Watchmen in theaters, so I begged my dad to take me. After the movie, he complained that the actor in the sex scene wasn’t even good-looking. As if that makes all the difference.

People who can afford to “go to Europe” for a summer will tell you every country they intend to hit, whether you ask or not. “I want to go to Europe,” is something people say when they don’t have concrete plans.

Junk food IS cheaper and more convenient. In the US not everyone has access to grocery stores. Imagine buying all of your food at a gas station or dollar store. I’m recovered from anorexia. Nutrition info was a huge obstacle when I was sick, so I understand, but luckily I had family… Read More

I fell asleep on my back in a guest room and “woke up” in the middle of the night. I had a bird’s eye view of the room, for some reason, and was painfully aware of the fact that I was pinned on the couch and couldn’t move. Then that little blue asshole from The Ring opened the door… Read More

Babysitting three awesome kiddos over a long weekend. On the first day, a man shows up at the door w two new kids. He's an uncle of the kids I'm watching, says it was OK for him to leave his kids for one night. I say no one told me but OK. These kids are awful. They fight w me and… Read More