We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their craziest, most ridiculous breakup stories. Here are the gasp-inducing results.
1. Broke up over a burger.
2. Overshared a bed.
"I was casually seeing my ex again to determine whether or not we would officially get back together. Anywho, given this lax approach, we decided to make our first official reappearance together at a house party hosted by a mutual friend we'd recently met. She was a bit kooky, but whatever. She was dating her father's friend who had a great sound system and a fully stocked liquor cabinet, which is all any broke college student could really ask for.
"As the night progressed, it became apparent that we shouldn't drive and our 'friend' said she and her boyfriend would take the couch and we could take her bed. Fast-forward about three to four hours – I wake up from the bed shaking, look to my left and see said friend in full lingerie riding him (my boyfriend) right next to me. I pushed them both on the floor, and thankfully realised that my other friend that came was passed out in the bathroom and could drive me home."
– Jamie Miller, Facebook
3. Hooked up in a bar.
4. Didn't let a cruise go to waste.
"My ex and I had booked a cruise together, we were going with another couple. Well, one week before the cruise he decided that we should break up. His excuses were, 'You don’t like coffee as much as I do, you don’t want to hang out with my ex-girlfriend, and you like rap – we are not compatible.' Yes, believe me, I know. The cruise was already paid for in full and we were not able to get refunds, so we went anyway.
"Funny thing is, my friend and her boyfriend broke up a month before the cruise so we all decided to just switch rooms. Me and my friend in one room and our exes in the other. Needless to say, it was awkward from time to time but my friend and I had a blast together."
5. Broke up with them on their birthday.
6. Paid an unwelcome visit.
"I broke up with a guy because I found out he had been jerking off via FaceTime with several other girls. Fast-forward to one months later and I am on a date. We were at my place watching a movie on the couch and my roommate spots someone in the backyard. Turns out it was my ex spying on me. My roommate chased him through the yard throwing her shoes at him yelling – he never lurked around our backyard again."
7. Tried to get their best friend to do their dirty work.
8. Got their mum to do their dirty work.
"I was 15 and he was 17 and his mom had just taken us out for lunch. We were going back to his place to watch TV. He made some off-colour comment and his mom asked if he had condoms and I laughed and said we didn’t need those. She stopped the car and looked at me and I was like, well, we’re still kids so it’s not like we’re going to be doing that… She called my mom that night and said I wasn’t mature enough for a relationship. He asked me the next day at school if my mom informed me we were officially broken up."
"I was in a relationship for over a year when my mum called me to tell me she was picking me up tomorrow. I said I was getting a lift with my boyfriend and she said, 'There is no boyfriend, I’m afraid.' Turns out he told his mum he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, who called my mum, who called me. Never heard from him again. He was 19."
9. Left them at an airport.
10. Blew off a family gathering.
"On the Monday before Thanksgiving my three brothers flew into the town I was going to college in, to meet my boyfriend. We’d been dating for a while and had talked about getting married. My mom and brothers were at a restaurant waiting for me to get off work, my boyfriend picked me up from work, drove me to the restaurant and said, 'I’ll drop you off and go park the car, I’ll be in soon.' I thought he was being sweet because it was snowing. So I go in and sit with my family… 10 minutes go by… 15… 30. He never came in.
"What did he do? Went to the airport and flew to Tennessee (where his extended family lived) and stayed there for four months."
11. Caught them in the shower.
12. Rejected a romantic proposal.
"I was in a relationship that was quite serious and I wanted to propose. My boyfriend loved hiking so we went to Mount Snowdon and walked all the way to the top. Once there, I proposed. He then told me, after seven years together, that he thought we weren’t right for each other. I was just starting to cry when a group of 20 walkers came up and saw him breaking up with me. The worst thing was, they refused to take the ring back."
13. Ruined a road trip.
14. Pretended to be gay.
"My ex broke up with me by pretending he was gay, as he thought it would make it easier. He told all my friends what he had done and no one told me. I was supportive until I found out it was all lies and he was texting my friends with my replies."
15. Chose fries over guys.
16. Chose the worst possible timing.
"I had been with my ex for two years, when I decided it was time to have a lump checked out (remember to check your breasts!). A week later I was booked in for surgery, and I got a message saying he couldn’t drop me off but would pick me up. He didn’t show and I had to have my hysterical mother drive me around. Two weeks passed before he got in touch to say, 'I decided I don't want to be with you.' I WAS HAVING AN UKNOWN LUMP REMOVED and he couldn’t even wish me luck or tell me he loved me."
17. Used a PDF file.
18. Didn't listen properly.
"I had to break up with my ex over the phone because I was working at a sleep-away summer camp. I felt that I wasn’t ever listened to, and wasn’t really happy so I decided to end things.
"Three months later I get a text from him saying, 'I think we should break up.' Turns out he didn’t listen when I called him and had no idea what our conversation was even about. He thought I just hadn’t needed to text/call him for three months."
19. Ruined their TV show.
20. Asked for a threesome.
"I dated a guy for a couple months. The feelings weren’t serious but we were having fun. One day he told me he had a dream about having a threesome with me and my best friend. I laughed it off. Then a few days later he told me he wanted a threesome with her involved. I got mad because A: a threesome wasn’t an option at the moment. Not something I was ready to try yet. And B: that would have been like having sex with my sister. (We were basically family.) I told him no and he got mad and broke up with me. Then she calls and tells me he’s trying to take her out on a date. What a douche."
21. Filed a theft report.
22. Faked their way through Valentine's Day.
"The night before Valentine’s Day a few years ago I drove my pickup truck through the snow to see my boyfriend of two years for the weekend. When I got there, we started arguing and he said he wanted to break up. I knew there was someone else in the picture and got really pissed off, packed up all of my things, and stormed out.
"My truck was frozen solid and wouldn’t start.
It was past midnight and I got a text that said, 'uh are you ok?' I told him my truck wouldn’t start, it was snowing, and I ended up having to stay the night. He lived at his parents' house at the time and we had to pretend everything was fine the next morning – he also refused to sleep on the couch so I made a pillow wall in between us on his bed.
"The next day, he picked up roses in the morning, because after all it was Valentine’s Day, wrote me a beautiful card about how he 'didn’t want it to end like this', and his mother made me pancakes and talked about how she couldn’t wait for me to really be part of the family.
"I had to hold it together all morning, pretending we were still so happy, and he had to drive me home (40 minutes away) because my truck still wouldn’t start. My father and I then had to drive back to his parents house to try to bring the truck home. We never had our parents meet because timing never worked out, so my dad met both of his parents for the first time that day.
"My ex’s parents couldn’t stop talking about how great we were together and how happy they were to have me over all of the time. They didn’t know that we had broken up yet, but my dad did. That man held it together as well as I did.
"Stupid pickup truck."
23. Stole their dog.
24. Found out about another woman.
"I started seeing a guy after meeting him at a charity event. Two weeks in, he calls me and says that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship because he’s going to be moving back to his parents in Dubai in a few months time. I asked him if he maybe wanted to try it out and see how the distance worked out for us. If it was too much, we could still be friends. He agreed.
"A few weeks after moving back to Dubai (we had been dating for eight months at this point), he and I are on Skype. He says, 'I haven’t been entirely truthful. I told you the last girl I dated was five years ago but that’s not true. There was someone after that as well.' This got my thinking really hard and all I asked after that was if she’s still in the picture. And if so, in what capacity. He said (I kid you not), 'She’s still my girlfriend.' I was the 'other woman' and I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW.
"Here’s where it gets good. I reached out to his girlfriend via Facebook, sent her my number, and asked her to give me a call. She called me later that night and I told her everything, along with apologising for not having heeded the red flags. She was understanding of that fact that we were both blindsided. He later told me that my telling her everything had 'ruined the sanctity' of their relationship.
"Nah bro. You did that when you cheated. Good riddance."
25. Booty-called them.
26. Hit on their sister.
"I was with my boyfriend for two years. One morning I looked on his phone to check the time and I saw a message from my sister just saying yes and I went onto the messages to see (which I wouldn’t normally have done but something was odd) and he had deleted all the messages which is clearly shady as fuck.
"Went out with my sister that day and she didn’t mention anything – few hours later my phone is dead so I go to message him off her phone and see the millions of messages he had been bombarding her with asking her for pictures and to meet up in private. That was that relationship for sure."
27. Sent them black roses.
28. Went back on signing a lease.
"I was with my boyfriend for two years. We were together at university and for my final year he thought we should live together. We went and saw some apartments, I paid the deposit and put my name down on the lease and two days later he dumped me. I moved in but couldn’t afford the rent on my own so had to tell my landlord, who was nice enough to break the lease, and I then slept on my mate's couch for a month."
"We had been long-distance for a couple years, and he finally asked me to move for him. I found a great teaching job, spent about a month finding us an awesome place (which we signed the lease on), and was over the moon. I sell (mostly give away) all my furniture and car and get on a plane. I spend about a day with him before we move in together, then he announces he doesn’t want to live together and wants a break."
29. Got married while they were on a break.
30. Turned a romantic holiday into a lads trip.
"We went on a romantic Pacific island cruise for my birthday...and he invited all his mates along then refused to have any time away from the boys. I left him to it, and went and did my own thing.
"One night, I came up the back stairs of the boat, to see him on a romantic date with another girl, taking selfies and drinking cocktails as the sun set.
"Had to spend a week stuck with them. Kicked him out as soon as we got home."
31. Was just a total douche.
32. Pulled a "She's All That" without the happy ending.
"This guy I knew in high school had an off-again, on-again ex-girlfriend. During one of these 'off' times, he and I were on a trajectory for going out. We flirted the entire summer, and he eventually asked me to homecoming. The weekend before the dance, he even goes shopping to get a tie to match my dress and sent me the pictures.
"Cut to two days before homecoming. He tells me that during the last breakup with his ex, she told him he would never be able to find someone who would fall for him. The whole damn thing with me was just to prove to her that he could find someone. He broke up with me, and went to homecoming with her. Rat bastard matched her perfectly, like he planned this all along. You know it’s bad when his mother calls to apologise."