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1. A screaming goat that'll make them say "it me" when it shrieks on their behalf.
2. A Star Wars Light Saber chopsticks set for the pal who's already accrued every single Baby Yoda thing.
3. A not-so-basic T-shirt made of natural fibers like CRAB SHELLS (yes, really) to help reduce odor and stay fresh between washes. Weird + practical FTW.
4. And a stabby crab pin they can wear on their crab shirt to commemorate this legend.
5. A coffee mug that transforms from solid black to utter perfection your pal who dragged you on a New Orleans cemetery tour to see Nic Cage's pyramid tomb will certainly treasure. (I'm describing myself.)
6. A scenic wall calendar any animal lover with an appreciation for all facets of nature will adore.
7. Bacon bandages because they swear that bacon makes anything taste better. Let's see how it fares for scrapes and cuts.
8. A boba tumbler they can drink boba from. Or just make intense eye contact with from across the room when they're feeling thirsty.
9. And a pair of boba earrings that'll just look the CUTEST.
10. A *mythical* meats jerky set to help settle the debate about just how tough a werewolf or chupacabra meat is. Oh, and they're keto-friendly!
11. A desktop Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy they can dance along to because it's a little weird just HOW good they are at that dance.
12. A Chewbacca vest that'll scream FASHION in Wookie (I don't know the translation yet, I'm not to that level on DuoLingo, OK?) for the pal who's been on the prowl some faux-fur the exact shade of Chewy.
13. A gorgeous mermaid pillow cover to zhuzh up their couch.
14. A cat-carrying backpack in case they've been trying to train their cat on a leash but it hasn't quite taken yet. Tbh, an astronaut-looking cat is an even more delightful view for passersby!
15. A mixed bag of edible bugs because you've heard them claim they'd be game for trying some bugs as a protein source. First up, the silk worm!
16. Cleansing goo for the detail-oriented slime fan that'll turn out to be extremely practical!
17. A couple of urinal shot glasses they'll need OK? Even if they have a kitchen cabinet shelf full of shot glasses. These'll make the rest a total wash.
18. A Krispy Kreme x Jelly Belly set for the person who more or less runs on sugar. Or whose sleepwalking alter ego loooooooves candy. Whatever, these'll be a solid choice for lots of folks.
19. A ramen hoodie (in chicken or beef flavor!) that'll turn into their WFH uniform. They're gonna need those matching pants too.
20. A worst-case scenario cookbook for the person who has a bug-out bag and has been taking notes from all those soap-operatic seasons of The Walking Dead.
21. A shrimp neck pillow that'll cradle them — even if they're allergic to the real deal.
22. A pair of reading glasses that'll let them look at stuff while horizontal so whoever's in the living room can never truly tell if they're asleep or not. No changing the channel from the rodeo rerun from eight years ago on the TV with the loud buzzing at 11:03 p.m. on a Tuesday. Nope. Do not even walk toward the remote. (OK these are also practical.)
23. A gnome riding a corgi because they're all full up on cute corgi coffee mugs and enamel pins.
24. Dr. Pimple Popper's game for the person who can't get enough of her addictive videos. ::raises hand::
25. A Watch Ya' Mouth game will provide a hilarious twist to family game night for the person who's game for everything. Or just brags about how good they are at talking to the dentist. Enough with the bragging!
26. Or a Butts in Space card game for some gaming with considerably less drool. At least I think so?!
27. An incredibly helpful guide to farts that'll help them get the most important answers to life's questions.
28. A motion-activated toilet light that I guarantee SOMEONE on your gift list will love.
29. A coin bank so they can finally put their money where *A* mouth is.
30. A pair of beetle shell earrings for the person who's pretty into taxidermy *and* statement earrings.
31. A Moth Man sweatshirt will finally give them an actual prompt to start talking about cryptid stuff instead of poking around for a friendly hole in the conversation. (I KNOW, because I'm that person.)
32. A "Satan's Blood" hot sauce folks who'd THRIVE on the show Hot Ones (or at least say so) will adore.
33. A tortilla blanket that'll make them feel cozy on the outside like a burrito makes them feel cozy on the inside.
34. TP marshmallows they can put in their hot chocolate or whatever. Idk. But just be sure to make it clear that these are marshmallows.
35. A bar of soap that'll not only LOOK like an ear of corn, but will smell like it too. Pass the butter, please.
36. An estate-planning journal in case they have a morbid fascination with death. (Also, someone feel free to buy me this.)
When your pal tastes their bag of bugs:
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