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1.A document clip so you can stop looking down every time you need to reference that "Excel for Dummies" guide you printed out. Or maybe that's just me.
2.An essential oil stick with peppermint, spearmint, and lavender to soothe the headache caused by your chatty co-worker... or your roommate.
3.A mini Crock-Pot that will keep your lunch warm all day long, because it's time to start loving yourself and stop eating room temperature chili.
4.A memory foam seat cushion and lumbar pillow because that cheap office chair you bought at the start of the pandemic isn't comfortable and you deserve better.
5.Motivational stress balls you can squeeze when you get yet another passive aggressive e-mail from your co-worker. Just do as the all-knowing stress ball says: focus, listen, and breathe.
6.A quiet little desk fan for those moments when you need to cool off. Or if you just need to get your Mariah Carey on and have a hair-blowing-in-the-wind moment.
7.A mousepad with gel support because your wrist deserves to be pampered and supported for all the pointless e-mails it has to help you scroll through.
8.A pack of mint-flavored energy gum that has just as much caffeine as half a cup of coffee, which is just the right amount for that 3 p.m. slump.
9.A pair of noise-isolating headphones that will help you drown out your co-workers... even if your co-workers at the moment are just your noisy neighbors.
10.A cascading wall organizer to keep up with all of those important documents you have scattered all over your desk right now.
11.A set of feather pens that give you all the ~aesthetic~ of an old-school quill without the hassle of having to dip it in ink every 10 seconds.
12.Or a pen with a gorgeous crown on top so you can let everyone know who the queen of the office is. You might just be inspired to write your office's own version of Lady Whistledown's Society Papers.
13.OR a shimmery gold pen with a fluffy pom-pom on top that will make you want to grab your best plaid skirt and channel your inner Cher Horowitz.
14.A ceramic mug warmer, because tea should always be served piping hot and life is way too short for room temperature coffee.
15.A pair of computer glasses that are designed to minimize eye strain caused by blue light emitted from digital screens and fluorescent lighting. So basically, you can say goodbye to mid-afternoon headaches ruining your workflow.
16.An adjustable stand so your phone is always visible and at the right angle for any unexpected FaceTime calls.
17.A privacy filter for your monitor so your boss can't see that you've spent the last hour scrolling through BuzzFeed Shopping lists.
18.A doodle pad that's perfect for scribbling down all of those brilliant ideas that spontaneously come to you... or for fooling your boss into thinking you're taking notes when you're really just doodling your latest masterpiece.
19.Peel-and-stick cable clips that will keep your chargers in reach and stop you from panicking when that low battery warning pops up on your laptop.
20.A mini desk vacuum that will gladly suck up any Dorito crumbs or Cheeto dust you leave behind after a snack break.
21.A helpful water bottle that gives you time-marked goals so you can stay hydrated and drink a full 64 ounces a day.
22.A random yet wonderful screaming goat figurine you can press any time you need to let out some pent-up frustration.
23.A personal heater so you stay warm and toasty in the office without having to wear approximately eight layers AND a blanket. And a beanie. And gloves.
24.A pack of daily planning sheets with space to plan all of your morning, afternoon, and evening tasks — and there's still room to make random notes to yourself on the side. It's basically the ultimate Post-it.
26.A mini cool mist humidifier you can place right on your desk to keep your nose and skin feeling moisturized and comfortable when it's time to crank up the heat.
27.A set of note cards and envelopes to remind you that "good things are coming" and inspire you to keep the positive vibes flowing — even when you're sitting through a meeting that definitely could have been an e-mail.
28.And a giant monthly planner with helpful stickers so you can color code all of your tasks and add some sense of order to the chaos that is your to-do list.