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1. A heavy-duty (and very beautiful, FWIW) trash can that'll open its lid when you: a) say "open can" or b) wave your hands in front of its sensor — perfect for those times when you don't have an extra hand to do it yourself.
2. A countertop garden to give your kitchen some nice ornamental greenery and a hefty supply of herbs and veggies for your next homemade meal. (Even if you have a terrible track record with keeping plants alive, it'll be pretty hard to mess this one up.)
3. A seven-piece gallery wall kit to update the shabby wall adornments that may have passed as "art" in your dorm but are just called "Fight Club posters" now.
4. A pillow massager with heat you'll be glad to have on hand (or on back, rather) when you're stuck in traffic.
5. A uniform set of food storage containers to tidy up your kitchen shelves. Each container's circular center pop-up button creates a vacuum-like seal for the ultimate airtight solution.
6. An electric pour-over kettle you'll definitely want to leave out on the kitchen counter for all to see.
7. An Instant Pot that just might revolutionize the way you cook — and by that I mean, fewer occasions for cereal dinners. This thing is truly a lazy person's best friend.
9. A paper shredder, so you can be more careful about disposing of your personal information. It's an investment in your security!
10. A Philips sunrise simulation alarm clock if you've forgotten there's an alternative to being jolted awake by a grating beep sound every morning.
11. A place to regularly hang your keys, like this wall-mountable rack, because you won't always have a roommate to come to your rescue when you get locked out. An investment in one of these is an investment in less time camped out on the front steps.
12. A Japanese tiered shoe rack to fit perfectly in your tiny little nook that isn't quite big enough for a standard option.
13. A waxed canvas lunch box that'll beat bringing wasteful materials to work every day.
14. A portable Bluetooth speaker from Anker, because your laptop speakers are simply ill-equipped for the dinner parties in your future.
15. A water flosser that'll thoroughly clean all those hard-to-get nooks and crannies in your mouth. Try giving me anything less than an "A" on my next dentist check-up, I dare you!!!
16. A sleeve to give your laptop some added protection when commuting to work.
17. A sleek compost bin with an adjustable air vent you can mount on your cabinet door if you prefer to keep it out of sight. Wow — an investment in the future of our planet!
18. A hand-built water fountain that'll create a peaceful vibe in any room.
19. An easy-to-use NutriBullet blender for protein-packed smoothies on the go.
20. An acrylic Squatty Potty to get your colon and high-design sensibility aligned in the bathroom.
21. An electric scrubber with four heads and an extension arm if you think it's maybe time to address the mess that is your bathroom head on. (This thing will blast the mildew buildup on your tile floor, toilet, tub, and shower walls to smithereens.)
22. A pair of Plantronic Backbeat Pro 2 noise-canceling headphones, a budget-friendly alternative to Bose QuietComforts that'll look as good as they feel on your ears.
23. A status-y drinking vessel to fill at the airport so you don't have to wait for the refreshment cart to swing by your seat.
24. A rice cooker that'll do the heavy-lifting for you come dinnertime. (Plus, there's oatmeal to consider.)
25. A set of rattan kitchen placemats to help preserve your eating surfaces.
26. A mini steamer that'll ensure you never roll up to a meeting looking like a crinkled-up mess, even while traveling.
27. A truly luxurious "homecoat" for the closest thing to a "street-ready robe" as there's ever been. (Something to make transitioning from your warm bed to the violently cold temp in the rest of your apartment a bit easier!)
28. An acrylic fish tank with a built-in LED light that'll go over swimmingly.
29. And a monthly subscription to Quip, the beautiful and award-winning electric toothbrush with a two-minute timer to effectively remove plaque and prevent gingivitis.
Some reviews in this post have been edited for length and/or clarity.