Kristen Bell And Kelsey Grammer Read Family Vacation Horror Stories And It Was Hilarious

"I'd rather have someone poop all over me, or have my kid poop on an airplane, or have my kid pee on my head, or poop my pants than be covered in dead whale."

In their recently-released Netflix movie Like, Father, Kristen Bell and Kelsey Grammer play an estranged daughter and father who end up on a cruise together. So, we thought it'd be fitting to have the pair read family vacation horror stories submitted by YOU.

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TBH, I think it's safe to say Kristen and Kelsey are permanently mortified by your stories:

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1. The unplanned nude beach.

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When I was 13, my family took a cruise, and, at one of the ports, my parents thought it was a good idea to take a bus and spend the day at one of the further, less populated beaches. Lo and behold, it was a nude beach. It was my first time seeing a man naked. My parents didn't want to waste the day trying to find a different beach, so they told my brothers and me to look at the ocean only. Of course, being 13 years old and curious, I couldn't help but look at all the old men walking along the beach. I asked my parents why the men were wearing their wedding rings around their penises — that was the start of their discussion of cock rings with my brothers and I. I will never forget that day and that discussion.

Submitted by sassysinger45

2. The poop on the plane.

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My brother had just turned one when we went to Disney World for the first time, and I was 10. I was sitting on the plane beside my mom, and my brother started screaming. We thought it was because his ears were popping, but it turned out he had the worst diarrhea ever. It was everywhere: on the seat, on my mom, on my brother. The flight attendant brought us CLUB SODA to "fix the problem" and a garbage bag and paper towels. They wouldn't let my mom get up because the seat belt light wasn't off yet. She made holes in the garbage bag and tied it at his waist, sat him on her lap, and waited. Worst flight ever, but it's completely laughable now.

Submitted by lexdontdoit

3. The ~true love~ honeymoon.

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My husband and I were on our honeymoon. I was on medication that made stuff happen, uh, a lot faster than you’d hope. We were two blocks from our rental flat when I told my husband that I had to go NOW. We walked home on icy sidewalks as quickly as my butt allowed. As soon as we unlocked the front door, I felt it. I did everything I could to clench, but it all came forth like an explosion of hot lava. I crouched down, crying, saying “IT'S HAPPENING," like I was in Bridesmaids. We got upstairs and I finished in the bathroom as my AMAZING husband cleaned my pants out with his hands. It definitely wasn't how we expected our honeymoon to go, but you can’t deny that THAT'S love.

Submitted by ericachericew

4. The ash-scattering cruise.

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I went on a cruise with my grandma and she tried to scatter my great-grandpa's ashes off the back of the boat. I ended up rinsing my grandpa off about four levels of the ship with a cup of water. When my great-grandma died and we wanted to scatter her ashes in the same way, my grandma hollowed out bread rolls and put the ashes inside to prevent a repeat of events.

Submitted by andreag40f4f62ff

5. The destructive butt.

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My family and I were on a vacation in Egypt. I felt sick all day, so as soon as we got to the tombs I ran into the bathroom, bypassing the lady who was handing out toilet paper. I rushed into a stall, and my ass EXPLODED on the toilet. I kept yelling for my sister to get me toilet paper, but apparently, you have to pay for each square in public restrooms there. She ended up spending $4 on toilet paper. Two hours later, after we finished our tour and walked by the lobby, I saw a "closed for maintenance" sign on the toilet I used. My ass literally broke an Egyptian national monument.

Submitted by Amelia Millward

6. The patriotic pee.

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One 4th of July weekend, we got stuck in standstill traffic and my youngest brother, who was six at the time, kept complaining that he had to pee. We couldn't pull over, so my dad gave him a Gatorade bottle to pee into. My brother started peeing in the bottle just as the traffic started moving a little bit. The sudden movement of the car jolted my brother from where he was standing (it was a minivan), and he dropped the bottle but didn't stop peeing. He literally peed all over the side of my dad's head and the steering wheel.

Submitted by Kristen Iannuzzi, Facebook

7. The series of unfortunate vacation events.

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My family and I were vacationing in the Caribbean, and my sister ended up stepping on sharp coral. To make it worse, there were no hospitals in the area so two fishermen cut it out of her foot while my parents held her screaming. On our way to the car, my dad realized he locked the keys in the car. We ended up having one of the locals break into the car. On the way back to the hotel, a category two hurricane hit and demolished the island. We got shelter in a coffee shop, but not before I was hit with a flying sign. Needless to say, we have not been back to the Caribbean.

Submitted by jacquelinez402dc2532

8. And the explosive Christmas.

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My mum's side of the family consists of about 20 Irish people and we often hire out hostels to ourselves for the Christmas holidays. One year we stayed by the seaside and my uncle overheard in the local pub that a dead whale had washed up on the beach and that someone was going to blow it up to get rid of it.

Obviously, we all wanted to see this spectacle. When we finally arrived, there were bits of dead whale everywhere with the worst rotting smell I have experienced to this day. My mum decided to kick a piece of whale blubber that was lying around which exploded and splattered ALL OVER ME. I was 11 years old, covered head to toe in dead whale.

Submitted by Poppy Izzard

Submissions may have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Make sure to catch Kristen Bell and Kelsey Grammer in Like, Father, now streaming on Netflix!