Updated on Apr 9, 2020. Posted on Apr 9, 2020

    Billie Eilish Revealed Why She Was Embarrassed To Win Literally Everything At The Grammy Awards

    "I was dead surprised. And I was embarrassed, dude."

    Billie Eilish has opened up about how she felt after winning five Grammy awards earlier this year, revealing she was actually "embarrassed" about the historic feat.

    Frederic J. Brown / Getty Images

    In case you need a little refresher, Billie cleaned up at the Grammys back in January, taking home five golden gongs. This included beating out strong competition to win the Big Four, making her only the second person in history to do so.

    Kevin Winter / Getty Images

    The top four awards at the Grammys are Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Record of the Year, and Best New Artist, with Billie coming out on top in every category. As well as becoming only the second person in history to achieve the feat, the sweep made Billie the youngest person to ever win the Big Four, and the first woman to ever do so.

    As if that wasn't enough, the 18-year-old also became the youngest artist to ever win Album of the Year for her critically acclaimed debut, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

    Kevin Winter / Getty Images

    Billie's brother and frequent collaborator, Finneas, also took home multiple awards for the album. Not too shabby for their first time at the Grammys, huh?

    However, despite the news being something to celebrate, at times Billie basically apologised for winning. In fact, while waiting for the Album of the Year result to be announced, she could be seen saying, "Please don't be me."

    CBS

    In her acceptance speech, Billie said that she thought Ariana Grande deserved the accolade more, adding: "Thank U, Next got me through some shit and I think it deserves more than anything in the world."

    While picking up the award for song of Song of the Year, Billie apologised once more, saying: "So many other songs deserved this, I'm sorry."

    Billie's reaction to winning even sparked a huge debate online, with one viral tweet theorising that Billie had wanted someone else to take home the award because she knew she'd be attacked by fans who thought she was undeserving.

    she does this because she knows that all y’all are gonna do for the next 2 months is talk about how she’s so undeserving of anything that comes to her and believe it or not she sees it and it fucking hurts her feelings so she wants to avoid it as much as possible idiot https://t.co/SltZQMsxeM

    But now, in a brand new interview, Billie revealed that she was "embarrassed" by the wins because she was in front of other artists who she felt deserved the accolades more.

    Appearing on the cover of Dazed, Billie name-dropped Ariana Grande and Lana Del Rey, who were also nominated for Album of the Year, as well as Beyoncé, who she went up against in the Best Pop Vocal Album category.

    "I was dead surprised. And I was embarrassed, dude, I was fuckin' embarrassed," Billie said. "I was in front of Ariana Grande and Lana Del Rey and fuckin' Beyoncé is nominated, and I win. I was like, Nooooo…"

    Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

    During the interview, Billie apparently then covered her face with her scarf at the memory and added: "I don't deserve it. They deserve it."

    Kevin Winter / Getty Images

    Billie has previously referenced Lana Del Rey and Ariana Grande as inspirations, which is also a likely contribution as to why she felt embarrassed for winning the Grammy over them on the night.

    In a previous interview with the LA Times, Billie even called for comparisons between her and Lana to stop because it was "disrespectful" to the "Video Games" singer.

    Rebecca Sapp / Getty Images

    "Everybody's always trying to make everybody compete," she said. "They're like, 'Billie's album might pass Ariana's…' But just stop. I don't care. I don't want to hear that Billie Eilish is the new Lana Del Rey. Do not disrespect Lana like that! That woman has made her brand so perfect for her whole career and shouldn't have to hear that."

    And this isn't the first time that we've heard Billie was self-conscious about her Grammys sweep. Her brother, Finneas, previously revealed that they were both "embarrassed" by the awards, telling Vogue that they were "brave enough" to hope they'd win just one.

    Frederic J. Brown / Getty Images

    "I would have been thrilled with that," he said, adding, "I was hopeful about album of the year, and that’s one that I’m really proud of."

    You can read Billie's full interview with Dazed right here.

    Ben Henry is a celebrity reporter for BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.

    Contact Ben Henry at ben.henry@buzzfeed.com.

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