1. A blessedly effective carpet cleaner capable of turning your brown carpet into whatever color it was when you bought it.
2. A nail and cuticle oil to repair all the damage you've wreaked on your paws after chewing at your nails.
3. A grout pen so you can easily cover up unsightly tile grout without having to, you know, scrub them clean.
5. Jumbo divider sticky notes so you can jot down some summary notes on each section in your notebook. Congratulations on becoming the most organized person in class!
6. A wood polish that can miraculously erase water stains and scratches. Everyone will be asking when you found the time you buy a brand new coffee table.
9. A pair of blue light-blocking glasses to help prevent eye strain from staring at a computer all day. Now your only office-related headaches come from that annoying copier.
10. A bag of powdered cheddar great for making your own "box" mac and cheese or for adding a kick to your homemade popcorn.
12. A clarifying shampoo you can use to cleanse your hair of any lingering product build-up and residue. Using this every now and then can lead to more volume and sometimes softer hair.
13. An ink and stain remover ready to pick a fight with even the toughest of marks. Permanent marker? We'll see about that.
14. An Atlas Coffee Club membership that sends you bags of delicious coffee from all over the world.
15. A stain-removing spray so you can reclaim your bathroom from that horrible orange glow! Orange is the worst color, especially when your bathroom is supposed to be white.
16. A toilet scrubbing wand (the magic kind, maybe?) that'll turn your yuckiest toilet into something usable again.
17. A pet grooming glove with two key functions: removing excess fur and giving your pet the most luxurious petting of their life.
19. A hanger organizer to solve your horrible hanger-nest problem you've been suffering through in silence all these years.
20. Two pairs of baby feet masks for getting the peeling snake feet of your dreams. JK! After the peeling stops, you get nice, soft tootsies.
21. A doggy foot cleaner to quickly get your pup's paws squeaky clean so they can get back to lounging on your furniture instead of the expensive pet bed you got them.
22. A zombie face mask kit that'll bring your skin back to life, in a good, Rick Grimes-approved way.
24. A pack of Bottle Bright tablets possibly made out of fairy dust, because they'll totally wipe away years of grime in mere minutes.
27. A bottle of Mike's Hot honey that seriously tastes good on everything. Pizza, wings, veggies, dumplings, salad, cocktails, ice cream, everything!
28. A liquid eyeliner with a stamp on the other end so you can just ~wing~ it when you want dramatic cat eyes without the drama of trying to draw them on yourself.
29. Anti-nausea wristbands that utilize pressure points so you can lose yourself on a nice boat trip without losing your lunch.
30. A weekly meal planner pad with room to plan meals, a perforated shopping list section, and a magnet. Keep this on the fridge and tear off your shopping list when it's time to hit the grocery store.
31. A waffle stick maker for delicious, dippable waffles any time. Life is so much better when you have a waffle in each hand.
32. Compression bands that offer arch support, keeping your feet happy and possibly protected from the pain of planters fasciitis.
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.