We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the pettiest thing they've ever done after a breakup, and y'all, I didn't know this level of petty was possible:
1. "When my ex-husband and I got divorced, the only thing he wanted was a bottle of really expensive champagne someone had given both of us as a gift. I had taken it when I moved out, and he wouldn't let it go, saying it was a present to him, not us. So I took the bottle over to his place, and when he opened the door, I poured half of it out on his doorstep before walking away saying, 'There's your half of the bottle!'"
2. "I pawned his PlayStation 4 and used the money to sponsor a pig at the local petting zoo...which I named after him."
"First, middle, and last."
3. "He cheated on me with my best friend. So I slept with BOTH of his...at the same time."
4. "I told him he could keep using all of my cable passwords because I wanted our breakup to be civil. Then I changed the passwords two minutes before the Game of Thrones finale. Oops."
5. "I signed up both him and the woman he cheated with to win trips on like 17 different cruises — a swingers cruise, a sugar baby cruise, an over-50 cruise... Those people never stop calling!"
6. "I superglued his deodorant, shaving cream, toothpaste, and hair spray closed, flipped all the batteries in his remotes, and rubbed sugar water all over his counters so that they would be unbearably sticky."
7. "I sewed raw tuna into the bottom of his curtains."
"Wish I could have been there to see him working out what that smell was."
8. "My ex cheated on me with a girl from work who didn't know we were together. So one day, I made flyers that said 'Lost Dog — If found, watch the f*ck out!' Then I put cutout photos of him on the flyers, and placed them all over his car while he was inside his workplace."
9. "I threw slices of cheese on his windshield in the summer so they would be melted on his car by the time he saw them."
10. "My ex who I lived with suddenly broke up with me, his excuse being that he needed to 'find himself.' Well, we shared an Amazon account, so after he moved back in with his parents, I shipped him a compass using his own credit card. The note enclosed read, 'Hope this helps you find yourself.'"
11. "I got in a car accident on Valentine's Day, and my ex was 'too busy' to help me, and then two days later he dumped me. Well, he hated my love for arts and crafts — especially glitter — so I sent him a bag of dick gummies, an 'Eat a Dick' card, and a glitter everywhere envelope. I just wish I could've seen the look on his face when he opened them."
12. "I sent him a text a few days later that said, 'Breakup sex this weekend?' He responded with, 'Yes, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.' Then I screenshotted it and sent it to the @textsfromyourex Instagram page and waited for it to get posted. He saw it, and was not happy."
13. "I donated five dollars to the San Antonio Zoo to name a cockroach after him...then felt the sweet satisfaction of watching it get eaten live via webcam by a lizard."
14. "My ex-husband hated salad forks because he thought they were useless. So when I was packing up to leave him, I took all of the silverware...except the salad forks."
15. "I created a fake Facebook profile and friended him. Then I started talking to him and eventually set up a 'date' in which he was, of course, stood up by the fake woman I created. Petty? Yes. Satisfying? Also yes."
16. "I knew he liked to shower and crawl into bed when he got home from work, so while he was gone, I took the bed sheets, the comforter...and the shower curtain."
"It felt good at the time."
17. "I sent a 'Sorry for your loss' card in the mail."
18. "One of my exes cheated on me with my best friend and sent me a photo of them kissing. So I made out with his dad, and sent him the video."
19. "When my mom and stepdad separated, she emptied their entire house of everything she bought...including the lightbulbs."
21. "Changed his profile picture to Jabba the Hut. Totally worth it."
22. "My ex and I were together almost five-and-a-half years and engaged the last two of them. He kept our cat after we broke up, but I always thought about stealing him back. So one night when I knew he was out of town, I did. I still had our apartment key, so I just went inside, grabbed the cat from the top of the stairs, and ran out. The best part was that his new girlfriend was the one checking on the cat while he was gone, and she thought she lost him! She made missing posters and everything!"
What about you? Have you — or your ex — ever done something extremely petty after a breakup? Tell us about it in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.