We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community for their funniest Ramadan stories. Here are the WAY too real responses.
1. Fudging your prayers.
2. Playing with fire.
As we sat at the table waiting for the Azan, my sister was playing with a cube of ice, tossing it from one hand to another. I asked her to give it to me, which she did. Something came over me and I popped it into my mouth. At that precise moment, the Azan rang out. Phew!
—Shaila Sharmin, Facebook
3. Sleeping literally all day.
4. Licking things you shouldn't have.
When I was 10 years old, I went to the supermarket with my mom and grabbed a strawberry pudding. The cover was sticky. My lick-every-food instinct was on, so I accidentally sucked my finger. I said, "not bad" and sucked my finger again. But then I realized; it was like 20 minutes before time to break fast. I totally panicked and told my mom about it. She just laughed and said that it is okay because it was an accident.
5. Pranking your siblings.
I had the worst sleeping schedule during Ramadan last year. I would stay up all night and sleep all day, so I had to wake everyone up for suhoor and Fajr. It was really hard getting my siblings up, so I used to trick them. Once, I was waking my sister up and I started yelling "THERE'S A FIRE!! WAKE UP!!" She got up all groggy like "What?!" And I go, "Yeah, it's Jahannam (hellfire) which is where you'll be going if you don't wake up and pray Fajr."
6. Trying not to get sat on during prayer time.
7. Missing Eid prayer.
I woke up late on Eid and everyone in my fam went to the mosque. I didn't think anything of missing the day, until they showed me a pic of my dad with the mayor of the city. FML.
8. The madness of agreeing on Ramadan dates.
Last year, the Hilal Committee's Twitter got hacked. The original decision was that Ramadan would complete in 30 days. There was some differences of opinion in other parts of Canada and North America saying it would be 29 days. The hacker then tweeted that the decision was reversed. The actual account owner got the account back, and re-reversed the decision. Phone calls were made, and messages were texted. Confusion ensued.
9. Breaking your fast the gross way.
10. Being the odd one out at an Eid party.
Last Eid fell on a weekday. When we got home from the masjid, I changed into pajamas and took a nap. I left home to go get my brother from school. Not only had my dad already picked my brother up from school, but when I arrived back home, I saw a bunch of uncles and aunties dressed in their nice outfits staring at me in my PJ's.
11. Tattling on your siblings.
12. Delayed reactions.
I am close to my siblings' mum, who is the previous wife of my dad. Last year, I was helping her with groceries at the market. At the markets in Turkey, the vendors always try to force free food on us, and the guy we always go to offered us free dates. My siblings' mum took one, and bit into it. I refused since I don't like dates — it didn't even occur to me that it was the middle of Ramadan! The vendor asked her if she liked it and she started nodding so I was like "Would you like to buy some for tonight's ifta… oh…" and she looked at me with wide eyes and instantly screamed in shock at the vendor "You are the devil!" The vendor jumped, and people around us turned to look at us. She started laughing a bit later on, but since she takes Ramadan very seriously, the shock didn't go away. :) We still laugh at it, so it's all good.
—Yildiz Réka Karabiyik, Facebook
13. Taking things very cereal.
14. Getting caught with a mouth full of food when you're not fasting.
One day in Ramadan, I wasn't fasting because I had my period. Normally, I went down to have my breakfast but I totally forgot that we had guests over. So as I was sitting in the kitchen eating, my uncle and his sons came down and found me. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't even tell them.
15. Bending the rules.
When my brother and I had just started fasting, my dad told us that if we broke our fast accidentally, it was okay and we could just start over and keep fasting throughout the day. So, being geniuses and very young, my brother and I used to "accidentally" break our fast and just start over practically every day. We'd never really have easy access to actual food so we'd eat things like candy and then scream "OK STARTING OVER. BISMILLAH!" and then fast again for an hour or so, then eat another piece of candy and so on and so forth.
16. Finding creative ways to deal with low energy.
I was doing rounds at the Internal Medicine Clinic at Agha Khan University. We would walk from bed to bed and discuss patients with the team and our consultant. The Karachi heat wave was insane last year, especially with Ramzan coinciding with the hottest days of the year. I fainted twice that summer, so I started carrying an emergency Pakola (a Pakistani soda) in my lab coat. I chose Pakola because it's gross and I'd never be tempted to drink it otherwise.
—Areeb Kishwar Usmani, Facebook