This is definitely not a product for someone who is seriously squeamish.
"I know how you rich people treat the help! I’ve seen Cinderella."
"If your best friend doesn't hate your ex more than you do, are they really your best friend?"
"Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street, and then getting hit by an Aeroplane"
"When u put 2 and 2 together but get 11 because you found out more information than you wanted to."
"You've got two hours to pop Mary's cherry in the oven, and bring it out again"
"I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting."
Even you don't know why you're actually crying sometimes.
"Saying 'I love you' for the first time is like guessing the Wi-Fi password for someone's heart."