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24 Of The Cringiest Things People Have Said In Bed

"I'm marinating in your juices."

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2. “I was giving him a blowjob and right before he finished, he said "God it’s like you took your teeth out.”"

Submitted by ele4dd60525d


4. "Just as we get into it, he leans in and whispers, "Is this your first time?" It definitely wasn't. It was our second time that week. "

Submitted by Kristen N. Brown, Facebook

6. "I’m not sure if he was trying to say “I love you” or “OH GOD”…but he ended up yelling “I LOVE YOU GOD!” when he came. The best part was hearing my roommate hysterically laughing on the other side of the wall."

Submitted by josis3


8. "One of my ex-boyfriends let out a massive fart once while balls-deep inside of me. He stopped and starting laughing for several minutes, then he topped it off after catching his breath with, "DAMN THAT WAS BETTER THAN SEX."

Submitted by Ryan Michael Wildgoose, Facebook

10. "He took out his junk and tapped it against my pubic bone and said “knock knock…”

Submitted by MW1776


12. "I had a guy tell me, mid-penetration, “you know, I thought this might work for me but I think I’m actually only attracted to Asian women.”

Submitted by loganm440b1d57b

14. My ex boyfriend looked at me midway through a solid makeout sesh and said “I can’t wait to insert my appendages into your orifices.”

Submitted by carlij3


16. "My boyfriend and I were having sex, he said “Oh, your pH is so good.” The next day I asked him about it and he answered, “Ohhh! I was pretending my dick was a pH tester and I was dipping in and getting the sample.”

Submitted by jennifern49169f1d8

18. "I was hooking up with a guy and he tried to be seductive and said “Tell me what you want”. Without thinking, my response was “What I really, really want?”. Luckily he found the Spice Girls reference amusing."

Submitted by camillegoodwin6


20. "We had been eating some cookies, and when we finished he put the plate aside, looked me dead in the eye and said “NOW IT"S TIME FOR MY MILK” and began sucking on my nipples."

Submitted by lenat4c83b552c

22. My ex and I were about to have sex and I told him I was on my period. His response? “Call me Moses.”

Submitted by brynnc40458a4e6

24. "Here comes the train. Choo Choo".

Submitted by aktjjt

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