"...Oprah did a show where Julia Roberts and I interviewed each other. And Julia said, 'Would you ever consider plastic surgery?' And I said, 'I got my eyes done, what do you think?' "
Clooney opens his eyes wide, like Betty Boop.
"I was in Italy when it aired, and all of a sudden it was all over the Italian papers. Once it switches languages and loses all sense of irony, and it's bouncing back and forth.... They used to say you can't make a joke in print, but you can get away with it on film. But now you can't get away with it there."
He pauses.
"I did get my balls done, though. I got them unwrinkled. It's the new thing in Hollywood — ball ironing."
Mystery solved! Now why in the world the Italian magazine Max thought this was a new story last week, we may never know...
"My first reaction was I was pissed off, I was mad. I then got kind of sad for him. First off, I had a part of me that took it kind of personally, which I think a lot of people have. For him, it was impersonal because he was living a lie. It was a whole unanimous facade he had to carry around. What I realized is that those of us that took that personally, like, 'Oh, he lied to me,' it's not true. What I mean by this is, what was he supposed to do? Call me to the side and go, 'Hey, man, I did it, but don't tell anybody'? Then I would have really had a reason to be pissed off at him, going, 'You want me to walk around holding this?'"
"I probably let myself down. I let my family down, I let other people down. At the end of the day, I was in a private area and there should be a certain amount of privacy ... The way I was treated by [the media] I don't think is acceptable."
"Yeah, he said that before I had kids (laughing loudly). He first said that around the time that first FHM cover came out, it came up again when I did his show again last year. I'm not gonna say I'm not flattered, he's Howard Stern, Howard knows boobs. The fact that he talked about me positively, I'll take it! He was really nice and complimentary, in his own special way he was very respectful."
Alec Baldwin wants to be on Girls, will probably be on Girls.
Daniel Radcliffe doesn't understand why you're all jazzed up about his gay sex scenes.
Kevin Bacon tried to meet Allison Williams and got denied.
Scott Evans pled guilty to cocaine possession.
Cyndi Lauper and Adam Lambert may record a duet.
Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to reconcile with Maria.
Rihanna gave a guy a great tip the other night.
Bill Hader will star in the Baywatch remake.
Oh no: ABC appears to be burning off episodes of Don't Trust the B---- and Happy Endings.
...but Andy Richter will play Penny's dad in at least one episode?
Tom Hiddleston is in West Africa with Unicef.
Brandi Glanville called LeAnn Rimes "insane" on Watch What Happens Live last night.
James Franco says that he wasn't trying to diss Justin Bieber in that video he made.
Beverly Hills Housewife Adrienne Maloof already has a new boy toy.
Michelle Kwan got married over the weekend.
Barbara Walters fell over the weekend and was hospitalized.
Lindsay Lohan turned down an offer from Dancing with the Stars.