2. Everybody going “ooooh” and “ahhh” in unison at fireworks is hilarious.
4. There’s usually somewhere that accidentally lets off all its fireworks at once, which is always brilliant.
(As long as nobody gets seriously injured, obviously.)
9. There’s mulled wine.
Because everything is better when it’s mulled.
11. Instead, you get to dress up WARM.
Sexy duffel coats.
12. It’s an important annual boost for the firework-sales sector of the economy.
13. But unlike Halloween, it’s not really about tacky commercialism.
Customers queue for Halloween costumes at Angels Fancy Dress in London, 28 October 2010.
14. It’s about the whole community coming together…
18. In some parts of the country, people run through the streets with fire, COMPLETELY IGNORING the health-and-safety posters.
That’s in Lewes.
19. Also, sometimes this happens.
Look, the burning crosses don’t have the same connotations, OK? It’s an old tradition. Shut up.
20. And OK, maybe there’s a bit of dressing up.
22. It is a symbol of the victory of democracy over terrorism, which means you can’t argue with it.
23. Although some people have…sort of forgotten that element of it.
The slightly less traditional burning of Lance Armstrong in effigy in Edenbridge, 2012.
24. But that’s good, because it means it’s not even really that much about the systematic demonisation and oppression of Catholics any more!